Thursday, December 18, 2008

There'll be a hot time in the old town tonight!

Or not. I can dream, can’t I?

I am indebted to Dr. John Linna, a retired Lutheran pastor who lives in Wisconsin, for today’s post. He posted something on his blog yesterday that struck me as so funny I requested and obtained permission from him to share it with you. Here’s Dr. John in his own words:

“I really don’t want to be seen as politically incorrect or a global warming heretic. In fact, for a long time I used to get up every morning and bow toward Washington three times and say, “Global Warming, Global Warming, Global Warming.” Then I would face Detroit and say, “Green house gases, green house gases, green house gases.” This was always followed by a reading from the great prophet Al Gore.

But I can no longer do that.

I am just too cold. My poor frozen body won’t bend and it is hard to get the words out.

Even worse, the wind keeps blowing our huge amount of snow around so I can’t tell in which direction Washington is, let alone Detroit.

In this one of the coldest winters on record in my part of Wisconsin, global warming seems so far away.

I suppose this is caused by those dang conservatives who don’t believe the Prophet Gore. They all are leaving their refrigerator doors open to push the temperature down. I have even heard, and I wouldn’t put it past them, they sent a group to Canada with big fans to blow the cold air down here. They do things like that, you know.

Still I am cold. I am very cold.

There is snow, lots of snow.

Maybe global warming wouldn’t be so bad.

So we lose a little coast line.

At least I would be warm.

I wonder if I can find a nice mechanic who will really dirty up my exhaust.

We need more green houses gases before I freeze to death.”

(Here endeth the reading of Dr. John’s words)

I wouldn’t want to burst Dr. John’s bubble or anything, but today’s high temperature in Atlanta is supposed to be around seventy degrees. Of course, the weather people are predicting it will drop to twenty-six by Monday morning.

Dr. John may be crazy, but he is crazy like a fox.

And this photo may or may not have been taken in Wisconsin, but it appropriately illustrates this post. My nomination for a caption is “The Four Snowmen of the Apocalypse.”


  1. Hey there, you Superior Scribbler, you! First of all, I'm not "spamming" you; I promise! Second of all, I'd like to introduce myself: I'm Melissa B., The Scholastic Scribe, & I'm the "Original" Superior Scribbler! Third thing on my mind: I've been nominated for a pretty prestigious blog award; I'd greatly appreciate your vote, so if you click on over to my place, you'll see the info. It's an annual award from EduBlog, and I'm up for Best Individual Blog. And 4th thing on today's agenda: I've got a cute "contest," of sorts, going on at my place every Sunday. Please come by this Sunday for the Silly Sunday Sweepstakes. And, thanks for your support!

  2. This post is hilarious! Love the picture. Even though I live in mighty warm Florida, I still think the whole global warming scare is a bunch of hooey! Remember in the '70s when they were going on about global COOLING? Al Gore should stick to inventions like the internet, and leave the weather alone.

  3. That picture could have been taken inmy backyard.

  4. Oooh, makes me glad to live in California where we have been having a cold spell--40 degrees. I could never live in real cold climates.

  5. Too funny. I better go and close my refrigerator door now.

  6. Its just mind-boggling to consider the extremes of temperatures in the continental U.S. right now. Another Georgia blogger wrote of turning up her A/C today. Goodness. But, you say your temps will drop to the twenties by Monday. Brr....rapid, drastic drops are difficult to adjust to. Dress warm to stay well!

  7. Thanks, everyone, for commenting!

    Melissa - I hope you win! And I'll try to stop by for your Silly Sunday Sweepstakes.

    Rosezilla (Tracie) - Bunch of hooey or not, a whole bunch of Americans are freezing their bippies off at this very moment.

    Dr. John - I thought the photo was generic enough to be almost anywhere in the frozen north. Perhaps with magnification we would see a Green Bay Packers decal on the vehicles in the background.

    dkzody - Welcome to my blog! Northern California can get pretty cold....

    Egghead (Vonda) - Every little bit helps, I'm sure, but didn't Oregon have snowstorms this week also?

    Jeannelle - You are right, it's not the actual temperature so much as the sudden change that shocks one's system so! You get used to it eventually. Did you know that human beings lose 80 per cent of body heat through the tops of their heads? Wearing a hat is very important when it's cold!

  8. Well... yeah, that was sort of my point. I am a little slow on the uptake sometimes, so I probably missed something, but I thought I was agreeing with you, lol!

  9. Sorry MDW was really me. Told you I was slow.