Saturday, March 9, 2013

Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, I’m free at last!

It took a bloke from Yorkshire who is currently teaching school in Thailand to help me see the light.

Thank you, Yorkshire Pudding!

In my last post, which basically was about Texas, I said the following:

“The Catholics or anybody else may have you until you’re six if they like, but if Texas gets you when you’re six and a half, you’re pretty much doomed very fortunate indeed a Texan for the rest of your life, like it or not.

“This is true even if you move away when you are 20 and hardly ever go back. I speak from personal experience. Even if you try to put Texas out of your mind, you cannot. I think it has something to do with bluebonnets.”

Yorkshire Pudding straightened out my thinking with the following comment:

“No, you are not a Texan, sir. You are a fully fledged Georgian. You may need hypnotherapy to expunge all thoughts of Texas and the hallucinogenic blue bonnet from your shingles-affected mind, so sing after me:

Other arms reach out to me
Other eyes smile tenderly
Still in peaceful dreams I see
The road leads back to you.

Georgia, Georgia, no peace I find
Just an old sweet song keeps Georgia on my mind.”

Singing along with Yorkshire Pudding definitely has a certain purgative/cathartic effect, but for the real deal, you have to

SING ALONG WITH RAY CHARLES!

That would make a Georgian out of anybody, plus Ray’s physical movements while he sings serve as the hypnotherapy Yorkshire Pudding suggested. For those of you wondering whatever became of Ray Charles, you will be happy to know that he has found part-time work as a metronome.

Here is a summary of my life, timewise:

I spent 6 years in Rhode Island (1941 - 1947)
I spent 14 years in Texas (1947 - 1961)
I spent 2 years in Florida (1961 - 1963)
I spent 2 years in Nebraska (1963 - 1965)
I spent 3 years in New York (1965 - 1968)
I spent 7 more years in Florida (1968 - 1975)
I have spent (so far) 38 years in Georgia (1975 - 2013)

That adds up to 72 years, which is right on the money, my 72nd birthday being only a few days away.

Since I have spent over half my life in Georgia, and it happens to be the most recent half, the only conclusion I can make is that Yorkshire Pudding is right.

I am a Georgian.

4 comments:

Snowbrush said...

I actually remember the Willie Nelson version better, and Willie Nelson is a Texan by birth who divides his time between Texas and Hawaii. Maybe Bob needs a vacation home in Texas. I think he's from East Texas, so he wouldn't have to to travel all that far. Let's see, he would need to cross Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana, all of which added together don't hold a candle to Texas in width.

rhymeswithplague said...

Snow, you are absolutely correct in saying that Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana added together don't hold a candle to Texas in width. In fact, you can add Georgia into the list and half of South Carolina and still be correct.

This can be proved by examining the exit numbers on Interstate Highway 20. Exit numbers on East-West interstate routes in the U.S. begin on the west side of each state, increasing as one drives eastward. Therefore, driving I-20 westward from its beginning where it intersects with I-95 in South Carolina, one enters at Exit 106. The easternmost Georgia exit is Exit 200. The easternmost Alabama exit is Exit 215, the easternmost Mississippi exit is Exit 169, and the easternmost Louisiana exit is Exit 186. Adding 106, 200, 215, 169, and 186 together yields a sum of 876. The easternmost Texas exit is Exit 635, but I-20 does not extend all the way across Texas. It stops well short of the western boundary of Texas, branching off I-10 a full 187 miles east of Texas's border with New Mexico.

So the approximate width of Texas using interstate exit numbers as our guide is 635 plus 187, or 822 miles. Admittedly, it is not "as the crow flies" but almost.

There you have it. Texas is 822 miles wide using Interstate 20 (and 10) exit numbers. The eastern (non-Texas) portion of I-20 is 876 miles long, but it goes through four states. That is why I said that Texas is wider than Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, and half of South Carolina.

However, as we all know, size does not matter.

rhymeswithplague said...

P.S. - For my readers in the U.K., driving across Texas is very nearly the same distance as driving from London to Rome, Italy.

Yorkshire Pudding said...

Yes sirree - ya'all as a Georgian mister so less go n pick us some cotton...or maybe some o dem juicy ol peaches!
Texas may be wide but many of those miles are empty and arid. The journey from London to Rome would have millions more wonderful things to see...even though some of those things would be French!