Monday, August 18, 2014

Show biz is my life

When I sign on to my computer, it happens that yahoo.com is the first page I see. On that page today was the link “9 Things You Should Know About Kelly Ripa” but I was not tempted to click on it.

No way, José.

I don’t know what things Yahoo thinks I should know about Kelly Ripa, but in my opinion here are the nine most important things anyone needs to know about her:

1. She is annoying.
2. She is annoying.
3. She is annoying.
4. She is annoying.
5. She is annoying.
6. She is annoying.
7. She is annoying.
8. She is annoying.
9. She is extremely annoying.

Perhaps that is unfair.

Let’s try that again (and these are my thoughts, not Yahoo’s) :

1. A recent quote attributed to Kelly Ripa: “Botox changed my life.”
2. She thinks she is funny but she isn’t.
3. She thinks she can sing but she can’t.
4. She is no Kathie Lee Gifford.
5. She is from New Jersey.
6. She is married to actor Mark Consuelos.
7. She met her husband in 1995 when they co-starred on the television soap opera All My Children.
8. She co-hosted “Live!” with Regis Philbin.
9. She is extremely annoying.

Perhaps that is still unfair. I’m sorry, but it’s the best I can do. Millions, of Americans disagree with me. Can I help it if they’re wrong?


That is not Kelly Ripa (or Kathie Lee Gifford or Mark Consuelos or Regis Philbin) . That is Ruth Warrick in 1973 as Phoebe Tyler on All My Children.

If this post makes no sense to my international readers, it’s probably just as well.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.

I probably should not post before I’ve had my morning coffee.

Plus, I am old and getting more curmudgeonly all the time.

7 comments:

Snowbrush said...

I have no idea who Kelly Ripa is. I have no idea who Mark Consuelo is. I barely know who Kathie Lee Gifford is. You have left me behind with your superior knowledge of modern culture. Now, you have only to become edgy, and your name will be in lights, and on the cover of People, and Kelly Ripa will rip you as you have ripped her. Ruth Warrick died in 2005 at age 88, and it makes perfect sense to me that you would include her in this post.

Elephant's Child said...

Kelly Ripa? Mark Consuelo? Drawing a total blank.
Which is not unusual.

rhymeswithplague said...

Readers, Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos are minor luminaries on American television. Mr. Consuelos is probably better known nowadays for being the husband of Kelly Ripa than for any acting he has done lately. Kelly Ripa hosts a talk-show on ABC-TV for an hour every morning Monday through Friday and is much too perky and bouncy than anyone should be at that hour. I guess part of what gets me so riled up is all the attention that people give to "celebrities" -- major case in point, the near-worship poured out recently over Robin Williams. Show-biz people (and also sports figures) are our culture's gods and goddesses.

Helsie said...

Never heard of her. It seems that is a good thing !!

Yorkshire Pudding said...

Until I read this post I had never heard of Kelly Ripa. All I know is that she mis-spells her surname which should surely be Ripper - as in Jack the Ripper. She is very fit for 43 and if she pulled up outside my house in a Mercedes convertible, honked her horn and begged me to jump in for a drive in the countryside, I would probably go with her.

Snowbrush said...

"I guess part of what gets me so riled up is all the attention that people give to "celebrities"

Only listen to NPR and only watch PBS, and it won't be such a problem.

Hilltophomesteader said...

Who's got time to watch TV? Never heard of those people. Too busy taking care of my Mom, canning albacore tuna after my hubby & I ran away to the beach for the day yesterday (YES!) where we ate caramel corn, drank coffee, took ourselves to dinner and bought our fish off the boat. Weather was stunning - about 73* & breezy. Just 65 miles away, back at home, it was in the low 90's (too hot).
There. Now this comment has absolutely nothing to do with anything. As it should be, yes?