Life outside the blog

Yes, Virginia, there is life outside the blog.

Sometimes it is exceedingly mundane. Yesterday, for example, I mowed the lawn.

As my friend and co-worker, Sanford J. Epstein of Burlington, Vermont, and Boca Raton, Florida, used to say, “Big whoop.” Sandy was a bit of a big whoop himself, weighing in at 305 pounds. And every St. Patrick’s Day he wore a Kelly green suit to work and modified his badge to read “Sanford J. O’Epstein.” I hadn’t thought about him in a long time.

But I digress.

Since tomorrow is the first day of October, I must pay a bunch of bills today, some of them by going online, some of them by writing checks and putting them in envelopes and adding self-sticking stamps on the envelopes and walking them out to my curbside mailbox and raising the little red flag to alert the mail delivery person to take them, and some of them in person by driving the ten miles into town. Even though this saves stamps, it uses gas, but it is also an opportunity to give Jethro a ride.

Jethro looks forward to going to town with us in the car, because there are several opportunities to receive doggie treats during a trip. He especially likes the drive-up window at the bank, but he is usually disappointed at the drive-up pharmacy and the water department.

People say dogs live in the moment and have no recollection of past events. People, I think, are wrong. Every time we turn off the main road into our subdivision, Jethro knows exactly where he is. Every time we go to the bank, Jethro knows exactly where he is. And every time we go to the drive-up pharmacy and the water department, he continues to hope for the best.

Please do not try to disabuse me of my illusions. Like my dog, they are precious to me.

If only I could find a self-mowing lawn, life would be complete.

My new favorite blog

A while back, my blog gained another new follower (and now there are 22 of you) named Sissy who lives in what she calls Upper East Tennessee. I was slothful and didn’t manage to get around to returning the compliment and reading her blog until today, and I am hooked, hooked, I tell you. I read all the way back to August 15th in one sitting.

Sissy doesn’t have a lot of readers. Wait, that’s not what I meant to say. Let me start over. I don’t know how many people read Sissy’s blog, but not many of them leave comments. I want my little band of readers to help remedy that situation. Sissy, a very good writer, covers life in Upper East Tennessee very well, plus excursions to such exotic places as Live Oak, Florida, and Asheville, North Carolina. Her sidebar even includes quotations from the Dalai Lama (“In the practice of tolerance, one’s enemy is the best teacher.”), Albert Einstein (“Concern for man and his fate must always form the chief interest of all technical endeavors. Never forget this in the midst of your diagrams and equations.”), and Charlotte Brontë (“Conventionality is not morality.”).

Besides, anybody with a dog named Choco is okay in my book.

Here’s your treat for the day, readers, Sissy’s blog!

That was then, this is now...

Yesterday I linked to the first post I ever wrote, back on September 28, 2007. In that first post, I included the stock market results for the day. I thought it might be interesting to compare then and now.

Then: The Dow-Jones Industrial Average closed at 13885.63
Now: The Dow-Jones Industrial Average closed at 9789.36

Then: The Nasdaq Composite Index closed at 2701.50
Now: The Nasdaq Composite Index closed at 2130.74

Then: The Standard & Poor 500 closed at 1526.75
Now: The Standard & Poor 500 closed at 1062.98

Then: The American Stock Exchange closed at 2410.19
Now: The AMEX Composite (equivalent) closed at 1764.11

Then: The Russell 2000 closed at 805.45
Now: The Russell 2000 closed at 613.22


I am now as depressed as the stock market. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.

I’m speechless!

This blog began two years ago today, on September 28, 2007, with my first post.

Time really flies when you’re having fun.

Mrs. RWP says it seems much longer.

The autumnal equinox came and went and I didn't even notice.

It’s true. I must be slipping, because I usually notice such things. I shall now try to make up for my inexplicable neglect by referring you to the Wikipedia article on the equinox.

Here is the Wikipedia article on the equinox.

I said I would, didn’t I?

For those of you who are too jaded to bother to expand your horizons by reading an article on a subject you have absolutely no interest in whatsoever, let me tantalize you by revealing that not only does the article contain a table that contains the UTC date and time of every solstice and equinox between the years 2004 and 2017, but it also contains the following irresistible subheadings:

Names
Length of equinoctial day and night
Heliocentric view of the seasons
Geocentric view of the seasons
Day arcs of the Sun
Celestial co-ordinate systems
Cultural aspects of the equinox
Myths, fables, and facts

and the ever-popular References and External Links.

It also contains a photograph of a bas-relief in Persepolis and one of the Chichen Itza pyramid, as well as the astounding fact that boatyard employees and sailboat owners in Annapolis, Maryland, USA, celebrate the spring equinox with the Burning of the Socks festival.

If these few teasers don’t inspire you to take a peek at an article about the equinox, nothing will.

The New, Revised Apostles’ Creed

The following video clip is either extremely sacrilegious, absolutely hilarious, ineffably sad, or some combination of all three. It was first aired on November 24, 1980, nearly 30 years ago, on the British television comedy series Not The Nine O’Clock News. The site where I found it calls it “eerily prophetic.” As for me, I found the gales of laughter from the audience eerily inappropriate.

The New, Revised Apostles’ Creed

I’ll leave it to my readers to decide. In a comment, please vote for one of the following choices:

A - Extremely sacrilegious
B - Absolutely hilarious
C - Ineffably sad
D - A and B
E - B and C
F - A and C
G - A, B, and C
H - Neither A nor B nor C

Please explain your choice in a brief paragraph.

[Update, 9/23/2009: So far, five people have participated in this little exercise. Two of them (40%) picked B. Three of them (60%) picked H. From this very small and admittedly unscientific sampling, what can we conclude? Some of you might be tempted to say “nothing,” but I disagree. What we can conclude, my dear readers, is clear: If you follow the crowd, you are more likely to go to H.]

A one, and a two...

You can blame this post, if you like, on Jeannelle of Iowa, a woman who inserted a video of Myron Floren playing “The Happy Wanderer” on the accordion in the middle of a post of beautiful close-up photographs of wildflowers. I have nothing against Myron Floren personally. He was the accordionist in Lawrence Welk’s orchestra for many years.

Ah, the accordion. Not my favorite musical instrument. One of my favorite drawings by Gary Larson (remember The Far Side?) has two panels, one above the other, depicting Heaven and Hell. Above, angels sitting on clouds are presenting a gift to Heaven’s newest resident, saying “Welcome to Heaven! Here’s your harp.” At the same time, down below, demons holding pitchforks and surrounded by flames of fire are presenting a gift to Hell’s newest resident, saying “Welcome to Hell! Here’s your accordion.” That pretty much sums it up for me.

For more accordion music, here is an earlier clip of Myron Floren
and Lawrence Welk in black and white, from 1958.

And if you still haven’t had your accordion needs fulfilled,
here’s another one from 1955.

Are you beginning to get the picture? It starts out innocently enough, but a little of that goes a long way. It can grate on your nerves after a while. All that champagne music. All that smiling. All that incessant bouncing. The only thing missing are polka dancers. In costume. To think of it going on and on and never stopping makes me want to throw an accordion, or at least a chair, through the nearest window.

I guess it could have been worse. They could have been playing “Lady of Spain.”

Actually, I have been playing the part of a curmudgeon and pulling your leg. This post is a tribute to some of the popular musicians of yesteryear.

I miss them.