No way, José.
I don’t know what things Yahoo thinks I should know about Kelly Ripa, but in my opinion here are the nine most important things anyone needs to know about her:
1. She is annoying.
2. She is annoying.
3. She is annoying.
4. She is annoying.
5. She is annoying.
6. She is annoying.
7. She is annoying.
8. She is annoying.
9. She is extremely annoying.
Perhaps that is unfair.
Let’s try that again (and these are my thoughts, not Yahoo’s) :
1. A recent quote attributed to Kelly Ripa: “Botox changed my life.”
2. She thinks she is funny but she isn’t.
3. She thinks she can sing but she can’t.
4. She is no Kathie Lee Gifford.
5. She is from New Jersey.
6. She is married to actor Mark Consuelos.
7. She met her husband in 1995 when they co-starred on the television soap opera All My Children.
8. She co-hosted “Live!” with Regis Philbin.
9. She is extremely annoying.
Perhaps that is still unfair. I’m sorry, but it’s the best I can do. Millions of Americans disagree with me. Can I help it if they’re wrong?
That is not Kelly Ripa (or Kathie Lee Gifford or Mark Consuelos or Regis Philbin) . That is Ruth Warrick in 1973 as Phoebe Tyler on All My Children.
If this post makes no sense to my international readers, it’s probably just as well.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.
I probably should not post before I’ve had my morning coffee.
Plus, I am old and getting more curmudgeonly all the time.
