Schlemiel, Schlimazel, Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!

Can anyone recall where that comes from? I’ll tell you where it comes from. The opening of Laverne and Shirley, that’s where.

Comedian Soupy Sales spoke often of the legal firm that represented him: Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe.

I love unusual names. Laverne was Laverne DeFazio and Shirley was Shirley Feeney. When Shirley married in her final season, she became Shirley Feeney-Meany, which reminds me that in Murphy Brown the character Corky Sherwood became Corky Sherwood Forest. But back to Laverne and Shirley. They worked at Shotz Brewery in Milwaukee and Shirley’s on-again, off-again boyfriend was Carmine Ragusa. And who could forget Lenny and Squiggy?

Woody Allen says he had a childhood friend named Guy de Maupassant Rabinowitz, Geeda for short. I think Woody just made him up.

Tennessee Williams gave us Laura Wingfield in The Glass Menagerie and Blanche DuBois in A Streetcar Named Desire.

I went to high school with a girl named Fredonia Musselwhite and her brother, Wayne.

I went to college with a girl named Tranquilla Furbush and her brother, Carlton.

From her younger days in Philadelphia, my mother remembered Violet Roach.

I know an English fellow named Alan Shacklock who says he can trace his family name back to the thirteenth century.

I got to thinking about unusual names again after viewing an episode of Forensic Files a few nights ago that featured Colin Pitchfork, whose name I had never heard before. Colin Pitchfork is a convicted British murderer and rapist. He was the first person in the world convicted of a crime based on DNA fingerprinting evidence, and the first to be caught as a result of mass DNA screening. His story, if you care to read it, is here. Forensic Files failed to mention that he has been in prison since 1988 and might be paroled in 2016.

The following person is (A) Carmine Ragusa, (B) Guy de Maupassant, (C) Colin Pitchfork, (D) Neville who died of ennui:

Do you know anyone whose name might be considered unusual?

Let me correct an oversight here

Two posts ago I mentioned Laverne and Shirley. One post ago I mentioned Lenny and Squiggy, who were upstairs neighbors of Laverne and Shirley, and I included biographical material from Wikipedia about Lenny and Squiggy for your reading and reminiscing enjoyment. Let me correct an oversight here by including as well some biographical material from Wikipedia about Laverne and Shirley themselves, also for your reading and reminiscing enjoyment (or, if you happen to reside in New Zealand or the United Kingdom, for your enlightenment):

Laverne De Fazio (Penny Marshall). Known for being a tough-talking tomboy, Laverne grew up in Brooklyn, with her Italian immigrant parents and grandmother; Laverne’s parents moved to Milwaukee, where her mother died and was buried. Laverne works alongside best friend and roommate Shirley Feeney and is known for being the cynic of the pair. She would consider herself a realist, and she sees her life for what it is. Laverne’s motto is: “This is it, this is our life.” Laverne enjoys dating tough guys of the “Purple Fiends” gang and picking up sailors at the dock with old lady neighbor Mrs. Colchek. (The show’s dialogue was always clear, however, that both Laverne and Shirley were “good girls” according to the standards of the 1950s.) Laverne is also a fan of the TV show Sea Hunt and enjoys 3-D Monster Movies, such as The Bride of Bwana Devil. Milk and Pepsi was Laverne’s infamous favorite drink (Penny Marshall drank milk and Pepsi in real life and added it to her character). Along with her poodle skirts, her trademark was the letter “L” monogrammed on her shirts and sweaters (another idea introduced by Marshall).

Shirley Feeney (Cindy Williams). Shirley Wilhelmina Feeney is the perky, positive one. With apple cheeks to match her personality, Shirley never “lets her balloon land.” She also tends to be a meek little “girly-girl,” while Laverne is more outspoken and athletic. One of Shirley’s most prized possessions is “Boo Boo Kitty,” a large stuffed cat which sits next to her bed. Her favorite song is Frank Sinatra’s “High Hopes” and that song is featured in several episodes, often used by one of the girls to cheer the other up. Shirley later becomes a huge fan of teen-idol Fabian. She has an overbearing mother named Lily (Pat Carroll) who had moved to California, and an alcoholic sailor brother Bobby (Ed Begley, Jr.). In episode 32, “Buddy Can You Spare a Father?” (which aired Feb. 15, 1977), Shirley’s father Jack Feeney was played by Scott Brady (who turned down the role of Archie Bunker on All in the Family). Shirley dotes on her never-seen nieces, nephews, and cousins and adores her “Feeney Family Photo Album.“ Shirley is also well-known as a conservative in her personal life: for example, “I don’t vo-dee-o-doe-doe” was an early catchphrase (to which Laverne once replied, “You vo-dee-o”). Despite her more blue-collar veneer, Laverne was also relatively conservative. This was made clear, for example, in an episode where Laverne nearly accepted a proposal of marriage; when Shirley asked if the marriage was being driven by necessity, Laverne reacted strongly against the insinuation. In the series’ earliest episodes, Cindy Williams used a coarser accent for her character, but it was soon softened considerably. (This speech pattern had been previously used by Williams in a commercial for Foster Grant sunglasses.)

Time and space do not permit me to tell you about Frank De Fazio, Edna Babish De Fazio, or Carmine “The Big Ragu” Ragusa. By “time” I mean, in the immortal words of Cole Porter, the tick-tick-tock of a stately clock as it stands against the wall. And by “space” I do not mean somebody’s arbitrary and artificially-imposed limits on a post’s length but the great emptiness out there beyond the stars.

Aspiring Rock Stars (pre-American-Idol)

I am indebted to Wikipedia for the following biographical material:

Lenny Kosnowski (Michael McKean) is a lovable goof who pesters Laverne and Shirley along with his best friend and roommate Squiggy (who both live upstairs from Laverne and Shirley’s basement apartment). Lenny works as a truck driver at the Shotz brewery. Raised by his father after his mother abandoned them, during the series it was learned that Lenny was the 89th in line to the Polish Throne. When Lenny attempted to have the words “Lone Wolf” embroidered on the back of his red jacket, a mistake left him with “One Wolf” instead; Laverne was kind enough to sew on one of her own fancy-script “L’s” to complete the phrase. Lenny says that, while he’s not completely sure, he thinks his last name (Kosnowski) is Polish for “Help, there’s a hog in my kitchen.”

Andrew “Squiggy” Squigman (David Lander) is the most obnoxious of the bunch, and the greasiest. Squiggy works and lives with childhood friend Lenny. Squiggy grew up with neglectful parents, and is often scheming to get rich or succeed by somewhat devious means. For some reason, he collects moths, and prizes a stuffed Iguana named Jeffrey. Squiggy, like Lenny, loves the chocolate-flavored drink Bosco Chocolate Syrup, and makes nearly every entrance with his trademark “Hello” said in a slightly dopey voice. In the final season, we learn Squiggy has a lookalike sister named Squendoline.

I am indebted to Wapedia for the following:

Lenny and the Squigtones is a fictional musical group headed by Michael McKean and David Lander, the two actors who played the characters Lenny and Squiggy on the television series Laverne & Shirley. Recorded live at the Roxy in Hollywood, they perform parodies of 50’s rock ballads (“Night After Night,” “Creature Without A Head”). In between, there’s plenty of schtick and patter (“So’s Your Old Testament,” “Babyland”). The group’s eponymous debut album, Lenny & Squiggy sing Lenny and the Squigtones, was released on the Casablanca label in 1979. The album is now a collector’s item because of credited guitar work by future Spinal Tap member Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest). A photo on the inside cover also includes two band members who look a lot like Derek Smalls and David St. Hubbins of Spinal Tap. Also includes “Murph,” the keyboard player from The Blues Brothers, and “Ming the Merciless,” actually Kiss drummer Peter Criss without his famous cat costume and make-up.

* Side A

1. Vamp On
2. Night After Night
3. Creature Without A Head
4. King Of The Cars
5. Squiggy’s Wedding Day
6. Love Is A Terrible Thing

* Side B

1. Babyland (For Eva Squiggmann)
2. If Only I’d’ve Listened To Mama
3. So's Your Old Testament
4. Sister-In-Law
5. Honor Farm
6. StarCrossed
7. Only Women Cry
8. Foreign Legion Of Love
9. Vamp Off


Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, I give you:

Lenny and the Squigtones!

There are more videos of Lenny and the Squigtones out there. I’m sure you can find them if you really want to.

My life is over.

There’s this guy, David Barlow of Ephraim, Utah, who refers to himself as Putz, probably because he isn’t aware of the original meaning of the word. Somehow, because of a comment someone left on his blog the other day, he has gotten it into his head that a blog must end after 500 posts. And that if it doesn’t, it should.

I sincerely hope not.

Because this is my 500th post.

Remember how Laverne De Fazio (Penny Marshall) and Shirley Feeney (Cindy Williams) used to open their weekly sitcom by skipping down the street yelling, “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, Schlemiel, Schlimazel, Hasenpfeffer Incorporated”? Now, using the links in this post, you can figure out what they were saying.

You’re welcome.

Ever helpful, that’s me.


It could have been worse. I could have gone out in a blaze of glory with a tribute to Lenny and Squiggy.