Saturday, September 27, 2008

My new best friend, Spam

Now that I am a veteran blogger (1 year tomorrow) and have made lots of new friends out there in cyberspace (you know who you are), I want to tell you about the best computer friend of all, my buddy, Spam.

Spam sends me more e-mails than anybody else. He apparently knows me better than I know myself. He provides cures for health problems I never knew I had and wants me to move in wider circles socially. He wants to help me get a job and tells me about great investment opportunites. He really has my best interests at heart. If it weren’t for my new best friend, Spam, I might never have known that:

1. Someone wants to buy all the broken gold I have.
2. The FBI wants to recruit me to help prevent terrorist attacks.
3. My colon will be cleansed if I try the new, Hottest Diet Supplement.
4. If I am fat, I can easily get sexy and skinny.
5. Someone wants to put $1500 in my account if I will provide a confirmation.
6. I can get financial aid for college.
7. Craigslist needs workers.
8. I can get a free Blackberry.
9. White singles are interested in meeting me.
10. I can get really cheap car insurance.
11. Black singles are interested in meeting me.
12. I can make money 5 Easy Ways on eBay.
13. Someone has a crush on me.
14. Rhonda wants me to look at her pictures.

I wish my new best friend, Spam, would go jump in the lake.

8 comments:

Papy Biou said...

we have the same at home ! We call it "enfoiré" and we zap it with an "honnor arm" (bras d'honneur)when he comes.

Ruth Hull Chatlien said...

Does your email provider have spam blocker? Look around your email page and see if there is something called settings. I keep my AOL settings on the next to the highest. If I put it on the highest, I'd miss a lot of real emails (although they go in a span folder where I can retrieve them). Anyway, spam blockers are set up to recognize certain types of subject lines and email addresses, and some even let you put frequent spammers on a do not accept list.

rhymeswithplague said...

I have three e-mail providers and Spam arrives only on Yahoo. The folder that used to be called "Bulk Mail" is now called "Spam" and Yahoo promises to delete anything in the folder after one month. But I am obsessive-compulsive enough that I don't want the stuff hanging around for any length of time; I delete it every day.

Maybe if I just let the darned stuff accumulate, Yahoo could get a handle on what I'm getting and block a lot of it before it reaches me. But I don't want 800 messages in my Spam folder, either, and the stuff builds up awfully fast.

Am I guilty of thwarting my own Spam blocker mechanism?

Ruth Hull Chatlien said...

I don't think so. Having it go in the spam folder is the spam-blocking mechanism.

I hate leaving that stuff in the spam folder too.

Jeannelle said...

Aren't we all thankful for the "DELETE" button!! In papy's comment......do you suppose that "bras d'honneur" means "delete" in French?? Weird.

Jay said...

Ahahaha! New best friend, indeed!

I wish Mr Spam would go jump in the lake, too. What annoys me most is when he steals my domain names and pretends to be me! I've actually had reams of spam 'from myself'.

Gah.

Egghead said...

I feel the same way. I can't stand the spam in my spam box so I delete it every day.

rhymeswithplague said...

Thanks to all who commented -- Papy (France), Ruth (Illinois), Jeannelle (Iowa), Jay (England), and Vonda (Oregon). I appreciate my small and far-flung readers very much!