In which more things than you can shake a stick at are compared to Liberace's theme song

If you must blame this post on somebody, blame Hilltop Homesteader, the blogger who posts from the southwestern corner of the state of Washington, which is way up in the northwest corner of our lower 48 states.

[Editor's note to the geographically challenged: The United States is composed of 50 states and the District of Columbia. Two states, Alaska and Hawaii, do not share a border with any of the others but are separated from them by Canada and the Pacific Ocean, respectively. Alaskans refer to the contiguous states as "the lower 48" but Hawaiians refer to the same area as "the mainland" because they live on islands. In the non-contiguous virtual space known as Blogworld, Hilltop Homesteader lives somewhere between Snowbrush (in Oregon) and A Lady's Life (in British Columbia), much in the same way that Mars is somewhere between Earth and Jupiter. Here endeth today's geography moment. --RWP]

Where was I? Oh, yes.

Two posts ago, I compared Mrs. RWP's latest creation, a drawing of an owl made with colored pencils, to Liberace's theme song ("Owl Be Seeing You In All The Old Familiar Places"). One post ago, I compared the Exxon Valdez environmental accident to Liberace's theme song ("Oil Be Seeing You In All The Old Familiar Places"). In a comment, Hilltop Homesteader wrote (I'm paraphrasing) that your correspondent is full of it lately and now has her imagining what the next theme song for Liberace will actually be. She imagined a couple of possibilities, a Carpenter ("Awl Be Seeing You In All The Old Familiar Places") and a Seamstress ("I'll Be Sewing You In All The Old Familiar Places"). She ended by saying she would leave it up to me to decide who's next.

Hence, this post.

I could keep doling these out to you one post at a time, but I have thunk and thunk on what might ensue and I have decided that my readers would not take kindly to that possibility and my audience would shrink into nothingness, which it is always in danger of doing anyway. Therefore, I am going to present the possibilities to you all at one time and be done with them.

Here we go.

Betsy Ross creating the first American flag in 1776 and presenting it to General George Washington is like Liberace's theme song ("I'll Be Sewing You In All The Old Familiar Places"). Thanks again to Hilltop Homesteader.

Vail, Aspen, and Snowmass in Colorado; Park City in Utah; and Sun Valley in Idaho are like Liberace's theme song ("I'll Be Skiing You In All The Old Familiar Places").

Hound dogs chasing a raccoon are like Liberace's theme song ("I'll Be Treeing You In All The Old Familiar Places").

From the perspective of the fox, a fox hunt through the fields of Jolly Olde England is like Liberace's theme song ("I'll Be Fleeing You In All The Old Familiar Places").

A young man looking forward to winter so that he can write his name in the snow is like Liberace's theme song (I'll Be Peeing You In All The Old Familiar Places").

Bruce Jenner slowly transforming himself into Caitlyn Jenner is like Liberace's theme song (I'll Be She-ing You In All The Old Familiar Places").

It will be over soon.

When a large department store decides to host a "Meet the Celebrities" event and invites the shopping public to meet the stars of the motion picture Notting Hill and so many people show up that the crowd have to be divided into two queues and the department store erects two large signs at the entrance to assist the attendees, it is like Liberace's theme song because one sign says, "Aisle A: Seeing Julia" and the other sign says -- wait for it -- "Aisle B: Seeing Hugh"....

I must close now as the men in white coats are here.

In which the Exxon Valdez is compared to Liberace's theme song

In my last post we explored why Mrs. RWP's latest creation, a drawing of an owl made with colored pencils, was like Liberace's theme song. Some of you thought that was silly. I'm looking at you, Adrian. Others of you thought it was a hoot *waving to Michelle.

In this post we are going to explore a far more serious subject. We are going to explore why the Exxon Valdez is like Liberace's theme song.

You, there, in the back row: Stop giggling. You're getting ahead of me.

If you are over 40 you will remember that the Exxon Valdez was a very large tanker that ran aground off the coast of southeastern Alaska in 1989, causing a major environmental disaster when 11 to 38 million US gallons (260,000 to 900,000 bbl; 42,000 to 144,000 m3) of its contents spilled into Prince William Sound over a period of several days.

See, I told you this was serious.

The Exxon Valdez is like Liberace's theme song because, contrary to what I told you in my last post, this is Liberace's theme song:

Oil be seeing you
In all the old familiar places
That this heart of mine embraces
All day through.
In that small café,
The park across the way,
The children's carousel,
The chestnut tree,
the wishing well,

Oil be seeing you
In every lovely summer's day,
In everything that's light and gay,
Oil always think of you that way,

Oil find you in the morning sun
And when the night is new;
Oil be looking at the moon
But oil be seeing you.

I tell you, these posts practically write themselves.

In which Mrs. RWP's latest creation is compared to Liberace's theme song

Alice in Wonderland was once asked the question, "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

Forget about her. I just threw that in to get you in the mood to consider another question, and that question is, "Why is Mrs. RWP's latest creation like Liberace's theme song?"

I can hear you saying, "How should I know? First of all, I'm not familiar with Mrs. RWP's latest creation."

We can take care of that problem immediately.

Here is Mrs. RWP's latest creation:

Isn't it lovely? But the question remains, "Why is it like a writing desk Liberace's theme song?

I can hear you asking, "How should I know? Can't you help me out a little? I'm not familiar with Liberace's theme song either. What was it?"

Again, we can take care of that problem immediately. This is Liberace's theme song:

Owl be seeing you
In all the old familiar places
That this heart of mine embraces
All day through.
In that small café,
The park across the way,
The children's carousel,
The chestnut tree,
the wishing well,

Owl be seeing you
In every lovely summer's day,
In everything that's light and gay,
Owl always think of you that way,

Owl find you in the morning sun
And when the night is new;
Owl be looking at the moon
But owl be seeing you.

...and if by some chance I happen to be wrong, I still am happy to have made you smile today, which my calendar tells me just happens to be April 1st.