Freddish and my reality

In this very interesting article in The Atlantic magazine about Fred Rogers of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood fame, he is reported to have been very careful about how he spoke to children and what he said to them. People who worked with him on his television program dubbed his approach "Freddish" and eventually produced a pamphlet entitled "Let's Talk About Freddish".

According to the pamphlet, there were nine steps for translating something into Freddish:

1. “State the idea you wish to express as clearly as possible, and in terms preschoolers can understand.” Example: It is dangerous to play in the street. ​​​​​​
2. “Rephrase in a positive manner,” as in It is good to play where it is safe.
3. “Rephrase the idea, bearing in mind that preschoolers cannot yet make subtle distinctions and need to be redirected to authorities they trust.” As in “Ask your parents where it is safe to play.”
4. “Rephrase your idea to eliminate all elements that could be considered prescriptive, directive, or instructive.” In the example, that’d mean getting rid of “ask”: Your parents will tell you where it is safe to play.
5. “Rephrase any element that suggests certainty.” That’d be “will”: Your parents can tell you where it is safe to play.
6. “Rephrase your idea to eliminate any element that may not apply to all children.” Not all children know their parents, so: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play.
7. “Add a simple motivational idea that gives preschoolers a reason to follow your advice.” Perhaps: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play. It is good to listen to them.
8. “Rephrase your new statement, repeating the first step.” “Good” represents a value judgment, so: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play. It is important to try to listen to them.
9. “Rephrase your idea a final time, relating it to some phase of development a preschooler can understand.” Maybe: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play. It is important to try to listen to them, and listening is an important part of growing.

Few of us are that scrupulous, but it should give us all pause and food for thought.

My dad didn't talk like Mr. Rogers. Sometimes he called me "Dummkopf" when he was particularly exasperated.

I ended up being named valedictorian of my graduating class. I think he was more surprised than anybody.

Sometimes, out of the blue, he would show me his hands and say, “The Navy trained these hands to kill”. Sometimes, for no reason at all, he would talk about the Medes and the Persians, or Ur of the Chaldees. Sometimes, as if to remind himself that a tirade may have gone on too long, he would quote Jesus Christ, "Whoever shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea".

It was hardly ever a beautiful day in my neighborhood.

If you had asked me back then if I loved him, I would have said, "No". I feared him. Today I think I can say that I love him. I have definitely forgiven him. With the passage of the years, especially after I had children of my own, I came to understand what he was trying to do (raise me to be a good man, point me in the right direction). He did the best he could with the tools at his disposal. He was honest, hard-working, and very difficult to live with.

If you think old Rhymeswithplague is a bit loopy at times, perhaps you can begin to understand why.

Even though it is almost six minutes long, I hope you will watch this video clip of the 1997 Daytime Emmys when Fred Rogers received a Lifetime Achievement Award.

In the 10 seconds of silence he gave us, I thought about my mother and one or two other people. I did not think about my father.