My new best friend, Spam

Now that I am a veteran blogger (1 year tomorrow) and have made lots of new friends out there in cyberspace (you know who you are), I want to tell you about the best computer friend of all, my buddy, Spam.

Spam sends me more e-mails than anybody else. He apparently knows me better than I know myself. He provides cures for health problems I never knew I had and wants me to move in wider circles socially. He wants to help me get a job and tells me about great investment opportunites. He really has my best interests at heart. If it weren’t for my new best friend, Spam, I might never have known that:

1. Someone wants to buy all the broken gold I have.
2. The FBI wants to recruit me to help prevent terrorist attacks.
3. My colon will be cleansed if I try the new, Hottest Diet Supplement.
4. If I am fat, I can easily get sexy and skinny.
5. Someone wants to put $1500 in my account if I will provide a confirmation.
6. I can get financial aid for college.
7. Craigslist needs workers.
8. I can get a free Blackberry.
9. White singles are interested in meeting me.
10. I can get really cheap car insurance.
11. Black singles are interested in meeting me.
12. I can make money 5 Easy Ways on eBay.
13. Someone has a crush on me.
14. Rhonda wants me to look at her pictures.

I wish my new best friend, Spam, would go jump in the lake.