Friday, August 21, 2009
A beach umbrella, a lifetime supply of suntan lotion, and a mirror, naturally
On the fourth hour of the Today show this morning, the one hosted by Kathie Lee Gifford -- yes, that Kathie Lee Gifford -- and Hoda Kotb, someone had sent in the following question: If you were going to be stranded on a desert island, what three items would you absolutely need to have with you? Kathie Lee knew instantly. “My cell phone, lip gloss, and the Holy Bible,” she said.
I understand the Holy Bible. I even understand the cell phone, because even though there would probably be no cell tower anywhere near the island to transmit and receive phone signals, the particular “cell phone” Kathie Lee was holding had been revealed earlier in the program to be a cleverly-disguised flask. But lip gloss? Holy self-absorption, Batman!
So, what three items would you absolutely need to have with you if you were stranded on a desert island?
A few rules: People who are tempted to say marijuana, calamari, and Sasha Baron Cohen need not bother to enter. Same thing for people who are dying to say Regis Philbin, Kelly Ripa, and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. And if you name something other readers might consider bizarre, please explain why you selected it. Oh, and keep it clean, please.