Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Incredible entrepreneurial opportunity for the right person! Act now while there’s still time!

Yesterday I received an email in Russian. Whenever that happens, I always copy it into Google Translate, which provides me with two things: a transliteration of the Cyrillic characters and an English translation. When I found out what I had been sent, I couldn’t wait to show it to you.

1. Russian email:

Subject: Подвал на Майдане Незалежности от владельца!

Подвал на Майдане Незалежности от владельца!

ул. Софиевская 16/16

86 м.кв.

2 мин. пешком до м .Майдан Незалежности

Универсальность использования помещения - помещение идеально подходит под магазин одежды, салон красоты,страховую компанию, коллекторскую компанию, службы доставки, салон массажа или же просто выгодно сдавать в аренду под офис.

Пожарная + охранная сигнализация,проточная вентиляция, кондиционеры, интернет, телефоны, видеонаблюдение

Цена 110 000 $

возможна продажа в кредит

(end of Russian email)


2, Transliteration of the Cyrillic characters:

Subject: Podval na Maydane Nezalezhnosti ot vladel'tsa!

Podval na Maydane Nezalezhnosti ot vladel'tsa!

ul. Sofiyevskaya 16/16

86 m.kv.

2 min. peshkom do m .Maydan Nezalezhnosti

ispol'zovaniya pomeshcheniya- pomeshcheniye ideal'no podkhodit pod magazin odezhdy, salon krasoty, strakhovuyu kompaniyu, kollektorskuyu kompaniyu, sluzhby dostavki, salon massazha ili zhe prosto vygodno sdavat' v arendu pod ofis. Pozharnaya

+ okhrannaya signalizatsiya, protochnaya ventilyatsiya, konditsionery, internet, telefony, videonablyudeniye

Tsena 110 000 $

vozmozhna prodazha v kredit

(end of transliteration of the Cyrillic characters)


3. English translation:

Subject: Basement at the Independence Square from the owner!

Basement at the Independence Square from the owner!

Str. Sophia 16/16

86 sq.m.

2 min. walk to the m. Maydan Nezalezhnosti

Universal use space - space is ideal for shop clothing, beauty salon, an insurance company, collection companies, services delivery, massage parlor, or just to rent out an office.

+ Fire alarm system, flow ventilation, air conditioning, internet access, phones, video surveillance

Price $110,000

Available For Loan

(end of English translation)


So any of you who have always wanted a basement at Independence Square, a 2-minute walk to the m. Maydan Nezalezhnosti, for a mere $110,000 American, all you have to do is contact somebody named iceman_7713@hotmail.com (email address kauabonga@msn.com).

A word to the wise: “Cowabunga” is what Chief Thunderthud used to say on The Howdy Doody Show to Buffalo Bob Smith, or maybe it was to Princess Summerfallwinterspring, even though dictionary.com says it is “a yell of exhilaration, mainly used by surfers.” You just can’t trust anybody any more. Consider yourself warned.

6 comments:

Jinksy said...

The silly season seems to have hit us both, in different ways...

ADRIAN said...

I have never bothered translating similar e-mails.
I'll do so in future. I don't want to miss out.

rhymeswithplague said...

Jinksy, you're right! I hope the city finishes the work in front of your house soon.

Adrian, I have not received any that contain porn, so my provider's spam filter is working, at least.

Yorkshire Pudding said...

Personally, I never get ANY Russian emails. I suspect that the ones you receive are linked to the spying mission you undertook for the CIA in "Sweden"(!) all those years ago. Are you in fact a double agent? The messages are probably in code and the "property" in question is most likely Fort Benning or Fort McPherson.

rhymeswithplague said...

Yorkshire Pudding, that would be funny except,as you may have heard, our National Security Agency (NSA) is more than likely monitoring everybody's emails, phone calls, blog posts, blog comments, facebook posts, facebook comments, tweets, et cetera, ad infinitum, ad nauseam. The days for saying such things, even in jest, are past. Yet my country is still officially "the land of the free, and the home of the brave." Maybe the land of the significantly less free would be more accurate.

Elephant's Child said...

Oh dear. Yet more confirmation that I am not the 'right person'. Was that kind of you to use your blog to rub in this undeniable truth?