Saturday, September 14, 2013

Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away

Some of my longtime readers may remember the time a couple of years ago when I suspected my hearing might be going because I thought my wife had asked me to get her a “a Q-tip” when what she had really said was “a few chips.”

Well, something similar happened this morning after all this time of doing so well in the auditory department. While looking at Facebook, Mrs. RWP suddenly turned and asked me the oddest question: “Why did the cow buy Dr. Dobson?”

Now I like riddles as much as the next person, but that one made no sense, no sense at all. “What?” I said.

“Why did the cow buy Dr. Dobson?” repeated my wife of, lo, these many years.

(Photo by Daniel Schwen, July 2007. Used under the terms of the GNU Free Documentation License, Version 1.2)

(Photo by Focus on the Family, November 2007. Used under the terms of the GNU Free Documentation License, Version 1.2)

My mind was reeling with the possibilities. Not.

“I have no idea,” I said. “Why?”

My wife said, “Because he wanted to get a long little doggie.”

I immediately recognized the punch line of an old joke that I probably read in Boys’ Life magazine when I was nine years old, and my brain -- remarkably agile for its age -- also knew at once that Mrs. RWP had not asked, “Why did the cow buy Dr. Dobson?”

She had asked, “Why did the cowboy get a Dachshund?”

(Photo by Igor Bredikhin, 2006. Used in accordance with GNU Free Documentation License, Version 1.2)

Of course! Because he wanted to get a long little doggie! It all suddenly made sense.

My brain also figured out that I probably need to call the Roto-rooter man to come and clean out my ears. Except that it’s probably too late for the Roto-rooter man.

For those of you in other parts of the world who do not understand the joke, the following may help. Cowboys in the American west called (and still call) calves “dogies”; there is even a song from the old cattle drive days called “Whoopee Ti-Yi-Yo, Git Along, Little Dogies” that was recorded by the likes of Roy Rogers, Marty Robbins, and even Walt Disney’s Goofy.

Click here if you think I am lying to you (2:01).

By mentioning Goofy, I bring this post back around to myself.

Have a pleasant day.

Oh, yes, and one other thing...

As the railroad signs used to say, stop, look, and LISTEN.

P.S. -- If you can think of a good answer to the question “Why did the cow buy Dr. Dobson?” I would love to hear it.


  1. gosh thats a while back that I heard this term
    Get along little doggie

  2. One day while getting ready to leave for a construction job that my kids were also working on, my husband turned at the door to speak to them (they were still sitting at the breakfast table). He hollered, "HAVE YOU GOT GLOVES?" My daughter hollers back, "TWO PAIRS". Well, he got this look of amazed aggravation on his face and yells back..."WHADDYA MEAN, WHO CARES???"
    Oh yeah, happens all the time ;-)
    You're good.

  3. i spell doggies, d o g g i e s

  4. To milk HIM dry for a change?

    "Get a long little doggie" - this made me laugh, I love how you illustrate your posts with gratuitous photos of everything as though all your readers are imbeciles. Hahahaha.

    'Click here is you think I'm lying to you' - are you saying some of this blog is factual?!

  5. I have no answer to your riddle - so can only pose one of my own (which I apparently invented when I was six) 'Why did the cow sleep on the fence?'

    Mine does have an answer (of sorts). 'Because it was too cold on the grass.'

  6. don't know if you heard G Galloway but I put his you tube video on my blog.
    This is why one needs the 10 commandments cause in them lies the truth.People do not understand the spirit of God and think he is a person.Many believe the answer lies in athiesm.It doesn't. Many Mexicans living in the US are now becoming muslim without understanding the full consequences of what this means and others are just plain false prophets.
    It is becoming a holy mess.

  7. A Lady's Life, it has been quite a spell for me, too.

    Hilltopandsoforth, I feel so much better after our little chat.

    Putz, so do I. I spell doggies d o g g i e s, and I spell dogies d o g i e s. The former is pronounced "daw-gees" and the latter is pronounced "doh-gees" -- Also please read again the paragraph that begins "For those of you in other parts of the world who do not understand the joke..." which apparently includes you there in Utah, which, by the by, IS in the American west, so you of all people SHOULD understand the joke, and YES, I AM BEGINNING TO SHOUT. And remember, if you have to explain it, it isn't funny any more. Seacrest out.

    All Consuming, ALL OF THIS POST, er, I mean, all of this post is factual. Another answer to the question might be, "because she found him udderly ridiculous."

    Elephant's Child, you get an E for effort but I do not understand your riddle. All the cows of my acquaintance slept in the barn.

    A Lady's Life, although I really feel that no one should comment twice on the same question until everyone has had the chance to comment once, I will respond anyway. I agree, truth does lie in the 10 commandments but it also lies in the person of Jesus Christ who said, "I am the way, the truth (emphasis mine), and the life." I believe that the Holy Spirit, although He is indeed a spirit who dwells in all believers, is also a person, as described in the hymn, "Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, God in three persons, blessed Trinity." This has been the orthodox Christian position for about 2,000 years now. I will make it a point to give Mr. Galloway a listen.

  8. RWP, I was a tad confused whether your hearing loss is permanent or not? My Mum wears a hearing aid and at times it still doesn't help. It is the first thing I ask her when I call, whether she has the hearing aid in and turned on, because she tries to go without it. Makes for interesting phone calls. I do know the song, someone in my distant past used to sing it, either my Dad or my Uncle.

    Does Mrs RWP do lots if jokes?

  9. mnichelle, the imbecile he is mosts trying to embarass is ME,,.,.the putz, he should be nicer to a survivor of a slot canyon flood, even more respectful than normal, but he assumed i would understand him ,,, not necissarily the joke, but his presentation of the joke and then faults me for a lack of sense of humour, when it was his presentation that was at fault, but i am sure now that i have pointed ythat out to all these hundreds of readers RIGHT here, he by popular consenses have to apologize to me><><>dwhat necessarily makes him alwatys right>>>>>>>/????????????

  10. “Why did the cow buy Dr. Dobson?”
    Because other doctors withdrew from the doctor auction so Dr Dobson was the only doctor left up for sale.

  11. Carol in that little town, oh, what's its name? It's on the tip of my tongue, I have very little, if any, hearing loss -- and no, I am not in denial. I do not now wear nor have I ever worn a hearing aid, not that there's anything wrong with that. Two boo-boos in a two-year period are well within the standard deviation range.

    Putz, I will ignore most of that little rant and address only your final question, "dwhat necessarily makes him alwatys right" which I understand to be a question even though you omitted the question mark.

    Dwhat makes me alwatys right is my innate charm, good looks, and large bank account. Nothing else counts.

    Yorkshire Pudding, in the contest for best answer, you, All Consuming and I are currently in a three-way tie for first place.

  12. Well, I am no judge and jury, but I feel there is always a great deal of jest in rhyme's comments, so don't take it too harshly dear Putz. You are most respected on the whole of blogger, those that know of you anyway, I need not take a poll to be sure of that. I also feel I can confidently say that rhymes is very fond of you, though nowhere near as fond of you as I am. Just to make that absolutely clear. Hahahaha.

    This - "Hilltopandsoforth, I feel so much better after our little chat." - made me laugh alot. If you need an agent for your stand up tour of the world, call me.

  13. All Consuming, my stand-up tour of the world will have to be delayed to let the demand build.

    Putz, I do apologize profusely to you, but not for the reason you think. I apologize for saying that when you said "dwhat necessarily makes him alwatys right" you omitted the question mark, which is utter nonsense on my part. You did include a question mark. You included twelve of them, in fact. Here is the unexpurgated version:

    "><><>dwhat necessarily makes him alwatys right>>>>>>>/????????????"

    which, in my haste to reply to your comment in a timely manner, I completely and inexplicably overlooked.

  14. I have know idea why, but your post reminded me of this joke:

    Roy Rogers comes in from a hard day's work on the ranch.
    His boots are all muddy, he's too tuckered out to clean them, and he doesn't want to incur Dale's wrath, so he leaves them on the porch.

    The next morning he goes out to clean them and finds them ripped to shreds.

    "Dang, Gabby. Those were almost brand new Luchesse ostrich and iguana boots. Wonder what happened to them?"

    "Wal, Roy, there's been a ol' mountain lion a-spookin' the horses the last coupla nights. Coulda been him."

    Roy saddles Trigger, puts his trusty Winchester in the scabbard, and rides off.

    Several hours later he comes riding back in.
    There is a large dead mountain lion slung over his saddle horn.
    And Gabby says, "Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed yer new shoes?"

  15. Ruth Hull Chatlien, that's a good one! I would guess the reason you thought of it is twofold: (1) I mentioned Roy Rogers in this post and (2) you were still under the influence of/reeling from having read my September 9th post, "Groaners"....

  16. "Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed yer new shoes?" - Hahahahaha, brilliant Ruth.

  17. All Consuming, please do not laugh; you'll only encourage her.