Ring out the new, ring in the old

Under the equal time clause of the blogworld constitution, I now present for your amusement and consideration, a list of things that are old:

Old Spice (an after-shave lotion)
Old Orchard Beach, Maine
Old Hickory (nickname of U.S. President Andrew Jackson)
Old Kinderhook (nickname of U.S. President Martin Van Buren)
Old Ironsides (nickname of the USS Constitution, a naval vessel)
Auld Lang Syne (a song sung at midnight on New Year's Eve)
Old Grand-Dad (a brand of bourbon
Old Man River
Old Dominion (the U.S. state of Virginia)
Old Mother Hubbard
Old Faithful (a geyser in Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming)
The Old Man And The Sea (a book by Ernest Hemingway)
The Old Curiosity Shop (a book by Charles Dickens)

Perhaps you can think of a few more.

Truth In Blogging Department. As far as I know, there is no blogworld constitution, and it therefore follows as the night the day that there is no equal time clause.

There is nothing new under the Sun

So wrote the author of Ecclesiastes three thousand years ago.

Oh, yeah? I can think of a few:

Nee York
Nieuw Amsterdam (original name of New York)
New Jersey
New Hampshire
New Mexico
New Orleans, Louisiana
New South Wales, Australia
New Brunswick, Canada
New London, Connecticut
New Smyrna Beach, Florida
New Paltz, New York
New Albany, Indiana
New Bern, North Carolina
New Rochelle, New York
New Braunfels, Texas
New Port Richey, Florida
New Delhi, India
New England (six states in northeastern U.S.)
New Guinea
Newfoundland, Canada
New Zealand
Newcastle upon Tyne, England
Newburgh, New York
Newport, Rhode Island
Nova Scotia (New Scotland), Canada

and let us not forget the New Testament and the New Christy Minstrels. There are probably lots of others too, but these are enough to prove my point.

Maybe the writer of Ecclesiastes was just having a bad day.

The moving finger writes, and having writ, moves on

Sometimes I wonder how different my life might have been if I had written a book entitled The Lights Of Midlothian.

Sometimes I wonder how different my life might have been if I had written a book entitled The House On Wyncote Road.

Sometimes I wonder why my brain would provide me with book titles without also providing me with material to put between the covers.

But no, nada, zilch, nothing.

As Yul Brynner said when he portrayed the king of Siam in the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical The King And I, "Is a puzzlement!"

I may be wrong, people, but I think the more normal way an author writes is to begin describing a person or a place or an action, let it develop, and not come up with an appropriate title until somewhat later in the process.

But that's just me.

So here's my question for today: If you wanted to write a book based on something important but you can't quite put your finger on it and don't have the slightest idea where to begin or what to say, what would its title to be?

Travel alternatives for your consideration

Except for the final example, this post is an exercise in unsatisfactory substitutions.

Friends, have you been...

LONGING	FORGET	...>
TO VISIT	ABOUT	..GO INSTEAD TO:
Moscow?	Russia	Moscow, Idaho
Paris?	France	Paris, Texas
Athens?	Greece	Athens, Georgia
London?	England	London, Kentucky
Rome?	Italy	Rome, New York
Birmingham?	England	Birmingham, Alabama
Geneva?	Switzeland..	Geneva, Illinois
Hamilton? ....	Bermuda	Hamilton, Ohio
Cairo?	Egypt	Cairo, Illinois
Dublin?	Ireland	Dublin, Georgia
Greece?	the country	Greece, New York
Turkey?	the country	Turkey, North Carolina
Florence?	Italy	Florence, Alabama
Leeds?	England	Leeds, Alabama
Venice?	Italy	Venice, Florida
Plymouth?	England	Plymouth, Masachusetts
Naples?	Italy	Naples, Florida
Stratford?	England	Stratford, Connecticut
Kent?	England	Kent, Ohio
Lebanon?	the country	Lebanon, Pennsylvania
Holland?	the country	Holland, Michigan
Toledo?	Spain	Toledo, Ohio
Monterrey?	Mexico	Monterrey, California
Canton?	China	Canton, Georgia
York?	England	York, Pennsylvania
Bogota?	Colombia	Bogota, Texas
Gloucester?	Englanf	Gloucester, Massachusetts
Panama City?	Panama	Panama City, Florida
Worcester	England	Worcester, Massachusetts
Lancaster	England	Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Palestine	the Middle East..>	Palestine, Texas
Valparaiso	Chile	Valparaiso, Indiana
Cuba	the island	Cuba, Missouri
Venus	the planet	Venus, Texas
Jupiter	the planet	Jupiter, Florida
Paradise	eternal bliss	Paradise, Califonia
Hell	eternal torment..>	Hell, Norway

Wherever you ultimately decide to go, let me be the first to wish you Bon Voyage!

From the archives (May 18, 2021): Nostalgia ain't all it's cracked up to be

From 1965 until 1975, a sitcom called Till Death Us Do Part ran on British television. Its success inspired similar shows in several other countries, including All in the Family in the United States from 1971 to 1979. All in the Family starred Carroll O'Connor and Jean Stapleton in the roles of Archie Bunker and Edith Bunker, respectively, and every episode began with the two of them sitting at their piano, singing this song:

Boy, the way Glenn Miller played
Songs that made The Hit Parade,
Guys like us, we had it made,
Those were the days!

And you knew where you were then,
Girls were girls and men were men.
Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again.

Didn't need no welfare state,
Everybody pulled his wei.ght.
Gee, our old LaSalle ran great,
Those were the days!

It has now been more than 50 years since Archie and Edith began singing that song. The wonderful days they longed for and missed so much included the years of the Stock Market Crash, the Great Depression, and World War II.

The days many people today seem to long for include the Korean Conflict, the VietNam War, the urban riots during the Civil Rights movement, the AIDS scare. One can almost envision a few years down the road that millennials will be looking back with fondness on good old days like September 11, 2001.

Time plays tricks on people. Many human beings seem to remember only the good and forget the bad, while others do just the opposite, emphasizing the bad and ignoring the good. It is my opinion that both groups are unrealistic in their approaches to living. I will leave it to others to help both groups work out their mental health problems.

I, of course, have the answer. For a dose of real nostalgia, the good kind, let us return to the days of yesteryear (that's a phrase from The Lone Ranger radio program if you didn't know) and go back to the school playground, as we did in this post from 2014, which you should now read, including the comments, before continuing..

Now that I think about it, grade-school recess wasn't always such fun either. I distinctly remember Sidney Usleton sneaking up on me every day during recess in the second grade and choking me from behind. This lasted until I mentioned it at home, at which time my Dad showed me a little jujitsu move he had learned in the Navy that sent Sidney Usleton packing. He never bothered me again. I think our teacher, Miss Elizabeh Nash (younger sister of Miss Erma, the principal) was oblivious to the whole situation.

Do you have good memories or bad memories from grade school?

A, B, C, D, and so on

A. Here are some songs whose titles mention a house, part of a house, or objects found in a house:

How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?
Open The Door, Richard
House Of The Rising Sun
This Old House
Bless This House
Come On-A My House
Old Rocking Chair's Got Me
Get Up, Get Up, Get Up, Get Up, Get Up, Get Out Of That ..... Bed
Dancing On The Ceiling
Deck The Halls With Boughs Of Holly
Someone's In The Kitchen With Dinah
Stairway To The Stars
My Grandfather's Clock
Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor On The Bedpost ..... Overnight?

B. Here are some songs whose titles mention fruits and vegetables:

Don't Sit Under The Apple Tree With Anyone Else But Me Yes, We Have No Bananas
Cherry Pink And Apple Blossom White
Life Is Just A Bowl Of Cherries
Shoo Fly Pie And Apple Pan Dowdy
I Heard It Through The Grapevine
Lemon Tree Very Pretty
Strawberry Fields Forever
I Found My Thrill On Blueberry Hill
Orange Colored Sky

C. No composers or lyricists were harmed during the compilation of the two lists above.

D. Setting aside the fact that all the songs in B above mention fruits and not a single one mentions vegetables, I wonder if you noticed what I noticed about every single item in both lists above, namely that every single song mentioned in A and B above is an OLD song, VERY OLD. I suppose, no, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt. that the reason for this phenomenon is that I also am OLD, VERY OLD.

E. You don't have to agree so readily.

F. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it (remember Mission Impossible?) is to come up with more recent entries for both categories.

G. Changing directions, I tend to pay attention to detail (one has to when one writes computer programs) and don't like inaccurate statements in the media. Here's one that has been bothering me lately:

In a television commercial soliciting donations to a charity that provides food to the elderly in Israel, the voice-over man said, "Scripture says that joy can come in the morning" and then tried to guilt viewers into responding. Ethics aside, I just want to point out that Scripture does not say joy "can come" in the morning. Verse 5 of Psalm 30 says "weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." Not can come. Comes. There's a difference.

Until next time, I remain
Your intrepid online pointer-outer,
rhymeswothplague