Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Freckles the Cow

(This is a generic picture of your average, anonymous Holstein cow, with thanks to Wikipedia. This is not Freckles.)

Jeannelle of Iowa (not to be confused with Eleanor of Aquitaine), author of the blog Midlife by Farmlight, has gone and done it now. “Gone” because she has taken a leave of absence from her blog to participate in the activities of her son’s wedding week, and “done it” because she has left her blog in the capable hands, er, hooves, of none other than Freckles the Cow (for some reason, that reminds me of Chuckles the Clown of The Mary Tyler Moore Show fame, but never mind). Freckles, who calls it a bloog, began blooging today.

On her first post, Freckles linked to an article in Wikipedia describing the proud history of the Holstein-Friesian breed; cleared up the differences between a heifer, a cow, a bull, and a steer; and included another link to a detailed diagram and explanation of the four stomachs with which her species has been blessed. We can only look forward with great trepidation, er, anticipation, to what the future holds for us from Freckles.

I left a comment, and since my words belong to me, here it is:

Dear Freckles,

You have done all humankind a great service today, and I salute you. So many members of my species have never had a clue as to the differences between a heifer, a cow, a bull, and a steer (something every heifer, cow, bull, and steer learn at MOOberty [Editor: and ignore at their peril]). You may be the first in all bloogdom to let my people MOO with something akin to real, useful knowledge.

As a MOOsician, I also appreciate the fact that All Cows Eat Grass and Every Good Bull Does Fine. You should know that one of my species’ favorite MOOsical compositions is Ludvig van Bullthoven’s MOOnlight Sonata.

In addition, although I have known for years and years (having grown up in the country) that you and your companions have four stomachs, I would never in a MOOlion years have known that they are the Rumen, the Reticulum, the Obasum, and the Barack Abomasum if you hadn’t blooged today. MOOny thanks for sharing this enlightening bit of information.

You are doing Jeannelle proud. As I said, I salute you. I feel privileged to be able to look forward to MOOch MOOre of your blooging.


If you’d like to read other things Jeannelle has written or keep up with Freckles this week, simply click on this link to Midlife by Farmlight or the one over there in the sidebar.


  1. *clap**clap**clap* Excellent and well done Bill. Mooveously constructed!

  2. Thank you for this mooving post. And also, thank you for visiting my blog: I have very much enjoyed reading yours and will continue to do so.

  3. My pool of commenters is growing! And for that, I am truly thankful, though I can hardly believe it!

    afeatheradrift, ruffles and flourishes back atcha. My name is Bob, by the way, not Bill.

    And Daphne, you are the first person named Daphne with whom I have ever carried on a conversation. It brings to mind me of Maurice Ravel's Daphnis and Chloe, although I suppose in your case he should have named it Chlois and Daphne. (This is what is known as "a little highbrow humo[u]r from across the pond.")

    Thanks to you both for your kind comments.

  4. An extraneous "me of" seems to have crept into my previous comment. I humbly apologize and promise to do better proofreading in the future.

  5. Goodness, that Freckles is all over the place these days. Wait till Jeannelle finds out she escaped her pasture.

    As for the extraneous words, you went in and changed "reminds me of" to "brings to mind," didn't you? LOL. You can never fool a professional.

  6. RHC: As The Fonz might say, exactamundo.

  7. Ah, there aren't many Daphnes about, Bob, even though it has a frightfully-English feel to the name. It's my real name, and I've never minded being called it - at least they don't get me mixed up with anyone else!

  8. The Barack Abomasum. Ha ha! I love this one. Cute post and I am so moooved! Oh, and Bill, Bob or BillBob, kind of close isn't it? Fun!

  9. Hey, there, Daphne and egghead, good to hear from both of you.

    And Ruth, what can I say but "too-shay"? (I find that writing French phonetically often helps the non-French-speaking in the audience, as in "vwah-lah"!)

  10. P. S. to egghead: Some wag (not me) has said that "close" only counts* in horseshoes and hand grenades. In my book, Bill is "close" to Bob as New York is "close" to San Francisco.

    *If I were the wag who said it, I would have said "counts only."