Friday, October 1, 2010

Mrs. Rhymeswithplague orders lunch from the menu at the O.K. Cafe

AFP/Getty Images

She had a hard time deciding what to have. First she considered the Blue Plate Special (chicken-fried steak, mashed potatoes, white gravy, and Choice Of Two Vegetables (she picked les haricots verts and les carottes de bébé), but changed her mind and ordered the Hamburger Deluxe because it came with lettuce, tomato, pickle, and a side order of deep-fried onion rings.

Then she told the server, “My government will have the same.”

Later, in retaliation, the manager of the O.K. Cafe (who doesnt really care for onion rings) prevented the server from bringing a dessert to the table, saying, “Do not bother Her Majesty with trifles.”

All of the foregoing is, of course, pure rubbish.  That is not Mrs. Rhymeswithplague at all.  And whoever she is*, it is doubtful that the photograph was taken at the O.K. Cafe because I have it on good authority that the place is decorated in lovely shades of fuchsia and chartreuse. Lastly, the manager of the O.K. Cafe is an absolute fanatic for deep-fried onion rings.

[* Editors note. She is, of course, 84-year-old Mrs. Elizabeth Alexandra Mary Windsor-Mountbatten of the Hanover/Saxe-Coburg-Gotha Windsors, wife of one Philip Mountbatten (originally Battenberg), to whom she has been married forever. Her full title is (or was on February 6, 1952, according to Wikipedia) Her Majesty Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of Great Britain, Ireland and the British Dominions beyond the Seas Queen, Defender of the Faith, Duchess of Edinburgh, Countess of Merioneth, Baroness Greenwich, Duke of Lancaster, Lord of Mann, Duke of Normandy, Sovereign of the Most Honourable Order of the Garter, Sovereign of the Most Honourable Order of the Bath, Sovereign of the Most Ancient and Most Noble Order of the Thistle, Sovereign of the Most Illustrious Order of Saint Patrick, Sovereign of the Most Distinguished Order of Saint Michael and Saint George, Sovereign of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire, Sovereign of the Distinguished Service Order, Sovereign of the Imperial Service Order, Sovereign of the Most Exalted Order of the Star of India, Sovereign of the Most Eminent Order of the Indian Empire, Sovereign of the Order of British India, Sovereign of the Indian Order of Merit, Sovereign of the Order of Burma, Sovereign of the Royal Order of Victoria and Albert, Sovereign of the Royal Family Order of King Edward VII, Sovereign of the Order of Merit, Sovereign of the Order of the Companions of Honour, Sovereign of the Royal Victorian Order, Sovereign of the Most Venerable Order of the Hospital of St John of Jerusalem. In addition to her regnal titles, Elizabeths full title also includes: Sovereign of the Order of Canada, Sovereign of the Order of Australia, Sovereign of the Order of New Zealand, Sovereign of the Order of Barbados, Sovereign of the Order of Valour, Sovereign of the Order of Military Merit, Sovereign of the Order of Merit of the Police Forces, Sovereign of the Queen's Service Order, Sovereign of the New Zealand Order of Merit, Sovereign of the Order of St. Andrew, Sovereign of the Order of Logohu, Sovereign of the Order of the Star of Melanesia. It should also be noted that in Jamaican Patois, the woman in the photo is known as Missis Queen or The Queen Lady.

In case you were wondering, the Order of Logohu medal is bestowed only in Papua New Guinea and looks like this:



  1. A perfect post! Something humorous, and then I learned something.

    Tell me, is she ever introduced using all those titles at once? Goodness me!

  2. I am not a royalist but I am proud of our queen. She's been a constant presence in my life and in the progress of the world since the early nineteen fifties. Intelligent and loyal, she has fulfilled her duties to the best of her ability in a media glare that has grown in intensity through the years. God save the Queen! And death to any who mock her!

  3. She is very much tinier than her photographs would have you believe and she is an utterly charming lady to have a conversation with. I cannot say the same for her husband. x

  4. Mountain Thyme, thanks for commenting! I thought I was being cute, but the next commenter took me to task.

    Y.P., I meant no disrespect and am actually an admirer of the royal family. Don't get your knickers in a twist!

    Katherine, I have watched several of Edward Windsor's documentaries on TV and quite agree with you.

  5. You never fail to provide us with more or less interesting information, larded with humor. Or humour, whatever you prefer.

    Big smiles ;-)

  6. Where is Katherine's comment?

  7. Duke of Lancaster, Lord of Mann, Duke of Normandy??? Why the masculine, or am I so ignorant of English titles that I was unaware that a person of female gender could be called Duke or Lord Whatchamacallit? Inquiring minds want to know. All that being as it may, God Save the Queen! I watched her coronation and marriage on TV, and enjoy seeing her even today. My English roots run deep.

    I'm sure that Mrs. RWP is altogether as lovely as Her Royal Highness and, when introducing your wife to your friends, you don't need to add such a long list of titles!

  8. Thanks, Carolina, for yor kind comment. Or your, whatever you prefer. I'm glad you liked it.

    Elizabeth, dear me! I meant to say Elizabeth, not Katherine! I must be entering my dotage.

  9. Pat in Arkansas, I noticed the same thing, but I was loath to mention it. I felt I might already be getting myself in Dutch (no offense, Carolina) with my U.K. readers.

    I tried to watch EIIR's coronation live as a transatlantic telecast was attempted, but all we got on this side of the pond was snowy nothingness on our television sets. However, we watched it relatively live, if that is a term, at the same time on our clocks as it had occurred on Westminster Abbey's clocks (if Westminster Abbey has clocks) thanks to some very fast jet planes that sped the film or kinescope (whatever) westward across the Atlantic. It seems like yesterday.

  10. ...or just feel that it would have been a more valid comment if it had come from some other person. Bob,I have always tried to leave kind, constructive comments on your blog. Look back and see how many times you ignored those comments but acknowledged others. Last time, I commented, you intimated that I inhabited Aristophanes' cloud cuckoo land rather than the real world. I recognise that other visitors are, as YP put it. 'so clever', and it has been pointed out by others that I am intruding on a longstanding trio of mutual appreciation and back-slapping, but my intention has never ever been to be derogatory, unkind or derisory and I write this in tears, hurt and upset that despite our recent conversations, this has happened.
    I have, in fact, met both the queen and her husband several times and spoke out of the reality of that.If you google my name it will somewhere tell you that I work, on occasions, alongside several of the royal family.It's amazing where they allow us brain-dead individuals to get to! Don't worry, the penny has dropped; I know where I'm not wanted - I won't be visiting you again.

    For anybody else reading this, before you judge me and conclude that I'm over-reacting ot being unkind, get to know me first.

  11. Everyone: I have unintentionally offended Elizabeth, it seems, and I am sorry for that. In my reply to her comment on my "I'm just sayin'..." post I was not directing what I said at her personally but was making a statement about people in general. She misunderstood. I certainly never intended to intimate anything about Aristophanes or cloud-cuckoo land; that is all of her own invention. And now I seem to have offended her again by addressing my reply her comment to Katherine instead of to Elizabeth. I assure her and all of you that it was completely unintentional. I was not speaking tongue-in-cheek or trying to be clever when I said I may be entering my dotage; I will be 70 in March.

    And where has it "been pointed out by others" that Elizabeth is "intruding on a long-standing trio of mutual appreciation and back-slapping"? I cannot figure out who she means, whether Pat or Rosezilla or Katherine or Yorkshire Pudding or Carolina or Snowbrush or Putz or someone else, or who the "trio" are. I think she might mean Y.P., Katherine, and me, but those are not relationships of just a few months, not "long-standing." Here's truth: I get more irritated at things Yorkshire Pudding says than anybody, but I know (or rather, I think) that he thinks he is being funny (for example, his comment in this post about "death to all who mock" the queen).

    I'm sorry to lose Elizabeth as a reader. I do hope she will read this and change her mind. I try to be sensitive (and some of you probably don't believe that), but an honest mistake is an honest mistake; I have become weary of walking on eggs to avoid upsetting her. Her mind seems to be made up.

    Those of you who pray, pray for me.

  12. Correction: "those are not relationships of a few months" should have been "those are relationships of a few months."

    I was editing the sentence as I went and completely reversed the meaning of what I was trying to say.

  13. Gulp. Don't know if it helps much but in the past I've also been "involved" in serious mis-understandings due to these "new" technologies - personal emails forwarded to wrong person, comments taken wrongly, SMS texts too short to convey real meaning, mobiles off when they should have been on etc - these gadgets have offered us all some great advantages but they can just as easily leave is in the ditch ...... my only advice is for each and everyone to put themselves into the other's shoes, though those shoes may be 1000s of miles away, before taking things at word-value.

  14. Thanks, Brian, for trying to help; your words are appreciated. I'm trying to stay "above the fray" but it is difficult when I am part of the fray. I have added a notice at the top of my blog and I may post something tomorrow; I don't know yet.

  15. QUOTE "I get more irritated at things Yorkshire Pudding says than anybody"
    Okay - let's try this...
    Mr Robert H Brague is a wonderful husband, father, grandfather and American citizen. He deserves to be elected the next mayor of Canton.

  16. A final comment on the matter to those who read this. I have left some very well intended comments on Bob's page in recent times - please do take the time to go back and look - it will perhaps give you an insight into who I am. May I also direct you to this, page - - particularly the comments section.

    I admire and respect Bob very,very much.We have a shared judeo background and shared committments in the present. I'm sorry I've upset him, but have tried to explain the issues off-screen. I would also like to state, publicly, that YP, has been a very real friend and an absolute treasure to me, as I have struggled to negotiate the world of blogging - theres always more than one side to a story.

    Take care and look after Bob ... he is a precious jewel in the crown of life...and I know that we will meet again some day in a place where these differences will be gone forever. x

  17. There now, and I just thought it was Queenie! :)