Friday, March 18, 2011

A is for apoplectic, E is for extraterrestrial, M is for Münchausen Syndrome by Proxy (MSbP)

Today is the 70th anniversary of my first glimpse of planet Earth and vice versa. If I have amassed threescore and ten big ones, can fourscore and seven be far behind? Abraham Lincoln, eat your heart out. Perhaps, like my cousin who used to live there, I will have a Gettysburg address of my own one day.

It’s my party, and I’ll cry if post what I want to. It doesn’t have to make sense. You can’t make me make sense.

Here are some bits of flotsam and jetsam, comments actually, that I left scattered around the blogosphere recently as my birthday approached:

“It has become practically an article of faith among certain people in the U.S.A. that while whites are undoubtedly racist concerning blacks, it is impossible for blacks to be racist concerning whites. The reason given is that racism is by definition the suppression of, oppression of, or denial of rights to persons of a minority group by persons of the majority group. Therefore, members of the minority group cannot possibly be racist in their views, speech, or behavior. This seems to me to be a very inadequate and flawed definition of racism, which clearly operates in both directions.” (United Kingdom)

[Note. Why can’t we just make beautiful music together the way Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder did in this video? --RWP]

“I hope one day to be as wealthy as you Brits and be able to afford my very own creative writing tutor. Until then, I will muck along with the help of a few active verbs and a handful of eager adjectives. (United Kingdom)

[Note. And an online copy of Strunk’s The Elements of Style. --RWP]

“Did I ever mention that I watched Biff Pocoroba up close and personal in his rookie-year spring training in West Palm Beach in 1975? The fact that in later years, in order to get to the church we attended after we moved to Atlanta, we had to drive past Dale Murphy's house every week never dimmed the luster of that 1975 spring training!” (California)

“When I was a boy we had a little flock of White Leghorns, Black Dominicks, speckled Dominicks, and a Rhode Island Red or two. My dad placed a white porcelain doorknob in each nest to encourage the hens (I started to say ‘give them something to shoot at’ but I thought better of it.)” (The Netherlands)

(Photo courtesy of Tony Northrup at

“I know I’m thinking of calla lilies and not your canna lilies, but Katherine Hepburn comes to mind (‘The calla lilies are in bloom again...’ from Stage Door Canteen). Our area finally has a few jonquils here and there, and we spotted some forsythia, a couple of tulip trees in full splendor, and even some cherry blossoms hereabouts. I do hope the winter is over.” (Arkansas)

[Note. If you simply cannot get enough of listening to Katherine Hepburn talk about herself, then this (9:05) and this (9:56) and this (9:40) and this (9:52) are definitely for you. There are two more segments, but you get the idea. If a single photograph of Katherine will do, look in the dictionary under “self-absorbed.” --RWP]

“I have no idea who Michael Schumacher is, but there’s something obviously wrong with a country where the Queen Mother’s teeth should have been in a sports figure’s head, and the sports figure’s teeth should have been in the Queen Mother’s head.” (United Kingdom)

[Note. On second thought, we should all live to be nearly 102, regardless of the condition of our teeth. --RWP]

“Just once I would like to encounter a schoolroom where the alphabet chart says A is for anachronism, B is for bituminous, C is for charlatan, D is for demonic, E is for effervescent, and so forth....” (United Kingdom)

I feel so much better now.

I’m really not crazy, just giddy at having reached this milestone.

Let’s have some cake.

(Copyrighted Photo by Christophe Verdier)

What, leaving so soon?

Perhaps a better question is: How did that white cake turn into a chocolate one?


Yorkshire Pudding said...

Well, I wished you Happy Birthday yesterday... Is one allowed to say it twice? Happy Birthday? Where's everybody else?

rhymeswithplague said...

Pudding, of course one is allowed to say it twice! And one is allowed to say "Thank you" twice, too. Thank you (3/17) and Thank you (3/18).

I don't know where everybody else is, but I will tell late arrivers that you already took the door prize, and if I receive any money for my birthday, I will definitely do something about the hole where the door used to be.

Pat - Arkansas said...

Yes, it's evident that the 70th anniversary of your birth has made you a bit giddy. I did find your recounting of comments left at other's blogs quite interesting, if for no other reason that most of them were familiar; could it be that we visit many of the same blogs?

I hope you're having a very happy day, RWP.

Egghead said...

Well happy birthday Bob! You share a birthday with my youngest daughter who turns 26 today. 70 is young, especially as I close the gap. Have a wonderful day and I hope the Mrs. and the children/grandchildren spoil you rotten.

rhymeswithplague said...

Pat, thank you! If my comments sound familiar, then I would say that, yes, we visit many of the same blogs. Either that or I have an evil twin out there somewhere in blogland.

Egghead (Vonda), thank you, too, and a happy birthday to your daughter! I discovered this week that I also share a birthday with a little girl at my church who turns 7 today. I never knew anyone, anywhere, at any time, who shared my birthday until I was well into my adult phase. I am now entering my post-adult phase (NOT!).

Elizabeth said...

A very Happy Birthday, Bob. x

rhymeswithplague said...

Thank you, Elizabeth. It's turning out to be very pleasant.

Putz said...

happy birthday to you hap bir to you< hope you have a happy day happy day happy day, and DO NOT BREAK YOUR LEG

Anonymous said...

Happy 70th! See you this weekend for cake!

From the eldest of your offspring...

Emma_ps said...

Happy Birthday to you! I discovered your blog by accident and have really enjoyed reading your posts, Thank you for sharing and I am in the UK and still can't afford a creative writing course : ( ah such is life! Hope you have had a wonderful day!

rhymeswithplague said...

Three more "thank yous" are due, one to Putz, one to Anonymous, and one to Emma:

Putz, thank you, and henceforth I shall sing your version of "Happy Birthday"!

Anonymous (who identified himself as the eldest of my offspring), thank you, and we'll be there Sunday afternoon!

Emma, thank you, and welcome to my blog! We are a small but friendly lot. If I have interpreted my Feedjit thingy correctly, you are from Reading in Berkshire (that's where your computer connects to the internet, at least); I don't believe I have had a commenter from there heretofore. My other UK friends in blogworld hail from Leeds and Sheffield (both in Yorkshire) and Havant (in southeast Hampshire, between Portsmouth and Chichester). As I say, the more the merrier, and welcome to the blog!

Emma_ps said...

I just wanted to say Thank you for the lovely comments on my blog, you have made me smile! I'm actually in London but Berkshire is much nicer maybe it senses where I would like to be! Hope you had a wonderful birthday