It wasn’t in the night, but it definitely went bump.
I was in my bathroom on Thursday morning, sitting on what Americans quaintly call “the potty” and reading blogs on my iPhone at the same time. Eventually I finished both activities, but I must have been sitting there for quite a while because when I tried to rise, my jammies still at half-mast, I discovered that my feet and lower legs had fallen asleep. I pitched forward, unable to stand. To call my temporary affliction the “wobblies” would be a bit of an understatement.
Something went bump all right.
Me.
Kersplat is more like it.
Narrowly missing both the shower door and the bathtub, I made a perfect three-point landing on the tile floor.
To keep your imagination from running wild, I hasten to divulge that the three points were my left elbow, my left pinky finger, and my head. I do have a few bruises and scrapes and my body seems to be sore all over, but I was not seriously injured.
Thanks be to God.
Since there but for the grace of God go you, I want to leave you with what Michael Conrad in the role of Sergeant Phil Esterhaus used to say at the beginning of every episode of Hill Street Blues:
“Let’s be careful out there.”
Oh dear! Perhaps you should cover your bathroom floor with foam rubber. Another point that occurs to me concerns lavatorial hygiene. By using your i-phone whilst sitting on the porcelain throne, you surely risk sparking an ebola-like epidemic. We wash our hands after toilet visits but how can we wash cellphones? To borrow one of your most famous quotes - "I'm just saying". I am glad you survived to share the dramatic tale.
ReplyDeleteOuch.
ReplyDeleteMy partner in a similar mishap pitched head first into the wall. Which came off rather better than he did.
Echoing YP on the subject of the i-phone.
I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteI understand. Accidents happen. My daughter and I recently traveled about 75 miles during a nasty rain & wind storm, along back roads to a back-woods town. There we loaded roughly 35 or 40 sewing machines (yes) into our truck from a shed down a path, around a house, through a yard, across a...well, you get the picture. We were mud up to our knees, sore & tired. After all that driving, walking, weight lifting....I got home and stubbed and broke my toe on a chair! In the comfort and safety of my home!
ReplyDeleteBe more careful, Mr RWP. And, well, I'm with YP on the sanitation issues....