We interrupt this hiatus to bring you some exciting news:

Congressman Roscoe G. Bartlett (R), representative from the Sixth District of Maryland to the 112th Congress, has introduced a bill that will bring some much-needed relief to a heretofore neglected a small but politically powerful a well-deserving segment of our population.

He has introduced the Stache Act.

According to the website of the American Mustache Institute (a major and perhaps the only supporter of the new legislation), “the Stache Act (Stimulus to Allow for Critical Hair Expenses) aims to earn a well-deserved $250 annual tax deduction for every Mustached American for expenditures on mustache grooming supplies.”

“Wait a minute,” I can hear some of you saying. “Hold on there, cowboy. A $250 annual tax deduction for mustache grooming supplies expenditures?”

But others of you, including perhaps my new friend Jim Baker, whose mustache is a real beauty, may be saying, “It’s about dadblamed tootin’ time them cantankerous coyotes up in Washington paid some attention to us little guys that are payin’ their salaries.” [Editor's note. Truth in blogging compels me to say that I’m just having a little fun; the speech patterns of Jim Baker do not resemble those of Gabby Hayes in any way.--RWP]

But let me, as I am wont to do, explain. I was pretty sure this was some kind of joke, especially after learning that the American Mustache Institute is planning a march on Washington on April 1st.

That’s right, folks, April 1st. April Fool’s Day.

But the office of the congressman has indeed informed the institute that the congressman has begun the process of ensuring the Stache Act becomes law by passing the proposal to the House Ways and Means Committee for study -- an essential first step for tax legislation.

Blogger Daniel Halper of The Weekly Standard called the office of Congressman Bartlett to see if something so silly could possibly be real. Sure enough, it is -— but there’s a wrinkle:

Congressman Bartlett was never aware that the bill had been referred to the committee in his name.

At 86 and the second-oldest member of the 112th Congress, Congressman Bartlett may be unaware of many things -- I mean, I’m only 70 and I’m lucid about half the time these days -- but it is clear that only two responses by the Congressman are now possible.

He can fire the staffers responsible and find new ones, or he can join in the fun and have a great laugh with everyone while our country continues to go down the drain day by day. It’s his choice. Only time, as they say, will tell. [Editor's note. It’s also clear, as we cowboys say, that certain congressional staffers may have gotten a little too big for their britches, but I’ll leave that post for another day. --RWP]

As for me, I’m really looking forward to getting that additional $250 annual tax deduction.

Here is a picture of Congressman Bartlett, who was born in 1926:

Here is an earlier picture of Congressman Bartlett:

And for those of you have stuck with me through this post all the way to this point, here is a special treat: A blurry picture of Mrs. RWP and moi from around 1980, when I was being regularly mistaken for both Engelbert Humperdinck and the bass singer in the Statler Brothers, Harold Reid:

You can see from one detail in that blurry photo why I am so pleased with the new legislation. I mean, it may come a tad late for me and my crowd, but the younger fellows coming along behind us can sure use the extra money.

And let’s give credit where credit is due.

Thank you, 112th Congress. It’s good to know that big government is still at work.

Into each life some rain must fall (or something like that)

...and life, which is what happens to you while you’re making other plans, requires me to be away from Blogland for a few days.

Not to worry, though. I shall return, though perhaps not in the way General Douglas MacArthur returned to the Philippines:

In the meantime,

[Editor’s note. One and all, I hate to disappoint you, but I am not sick or in hospital or undergoing psychoanalysis, or having a root canal, or encumbered by any of dozens of other infirmities whose prospect seems to fill some of you with such glee, if I am interpreting your comments correctly. I am not incontinent, or changing my gender, or having anything of any kind removed or inserted. The rain of which I spoke refers to the rain that is undoubtedly falling in your own miserable lives at the thought of having to endure my absence. Never fear. Be patient. As I mentioned before, I shall return. --RWP, 28 Feb 2012]

I know it’s hard to believe, but...

...once upon a time the leaders of Her Majesty’s gubmint were real people with crooked teeth, pot bellies, fallen arches, and the like. They looked like this:

and this:

and, yes, even this:

But all of them looked like actual, living, breathing members of the species homo sapiens. People like you and me. People with aches and pains. People with flaws.

Here are two more of fairly recent vintage:

Ordinary-looking blokes, both of them. People you might pass on the street or with whom you might share a pint at the local pub or beside whom you might sit at a soccer match.

But something very strange has happened. The current leaders over there across the pond in you-know-where look more like Hollywood actors. They are pretty boys, perfect specimens stamped out with a cookie cutter, almost artificial in their sameness. The effect is Stepford-wives-ish.

Here, for example, are random British leader #1:

random British leader #2:

and random British leader #3:

...all of whom just happen to have ascended to the highest, most powerful political offices in the land.

Uncanny, isn’t it?

And more than a little bit scary.

Because if the mannequins have already taken over, can the robots be far behind?

I have realized just this minute where I have seen their like before. It was the sinister children in the 1960 film, Village of the Damned.

Let me just say in closing, dear reader, that in this world of ordinary people, extraordinary people, I’m glad there is you.
Yes, in this world of overrated treasures and underrated pleasures, I’m so glad there is you.

[Editor’s note. I would like to thank, in the order of their appearance in this post, Winston Churchill, Margaret Thatcher, Harold Macmillan, John Major, Tony Blair, Gordon Brown, George Osborne, Nick Clegg, David Cameron, the sinister children in Village of the Damned, and the lyrics of Jimmy Dorsey and Paul Madeira. --RWP]

Well, that didn’t take long.

Anonymous has struck.

The following comment appeared on one of my older posts today, and Blogger kindly put it in my e-mail for moderation.
I deleted it, but before I did I decided to copy it and show it to you because I found myself chuckling at the absurdity of it all.

The writer obviously never sat through a course called English as a Second Language (ESL). Or if the writer did, he or she must have failed the course miserably.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present the product known as TrimSport just as Anonymous presented it to me:

Even though exercising an expensively elegant health and fitness plan your current bags don’t appear to move? The main reason could be obvious but eluding a person. The proper procedure for your weight loss can easily provide a sumptuous reduction in bodyweight. Otherwise all your endeavours may pass away an organic demise. Avoid spilling out mistakes and try out and about TrimSport instead. This dietary slimming item could be a perfect method to goal unwanted weight loss goal. Celebrate reducing your weight rather exciting as well as simple for you personally. Just a couple pills in order to pop and you can decline kilos quickly.

Manufactured from herbal plants as well as elements, TrimSport is a electrical power packed method to help you get rid of weighty mass obviously and also enables you to discard every one of the extra load out of your system. Components such as Ginseng, Teas (EGCG), Healthy Amazon online all types of berries and also Chromate let your natural arrangement generate body fat and calorie consumption away from your system and sculpt lightly.

To try to induce off of the volume from the bulging belly, this product cleanses your system by making use of the normal anti-oxidants. That restores natural fat burning procedure of your body and enables a tougher and tight body to switch your own prior pulpy size. By doing this it makes anyone shed weight and also recovery using a more compact as well as stunning new anyone in some days.

An individual bottle filled with many advantages on this item can drip for you the following benefits:

Ø Trim the tummy

Ø Preserve you muscles

Ø Make an individual small as well as well toned

Ø Improve digestive function and also metabolism

Ø Nourish all of your technique

Ø Trigger a bout of optimistic vitality

Ø Give you a nicely identified physiology

To get the best results of the many jar involving TrimSport, you can synergy this kind of dietary supplement having a strong diet regime plus a simple exercises schedule. The supplement will nurture your body and does not make you feel ravenous. With its progressive make up provide you with an impressive nevertheless healthy weight reduction.

Using this diet product assisting weight loss, you’re bound to shell out the very last little extra fat using a stronger stomach. It’s just best to improve your own dietary efforts loaded with workouts. So people, you better allowed this to dietary supplement refine the body making cutting down on excess fat a sport!

Only visit the official website associated with TrimSport and set the buy. Acquire this specific on the internet now.


Really, Anonymous, I don’t want to synergy this kind of dietary supplement, although being bound to shell out the very last little extra fat is tempting, especially since your product does not make me feel ravenous and enables me to discard every one of the extra load out of my system.

Thanks, but no thanks. I will not set the buy. I will not acquire this specific. I will have to nourish all of my technique and trigger a bout of optimistic vitality some other way. Whatever product or method I decide to use, I do hope it will enable a tougher and tight body to switch my own prior pulpy size.

I shall look for another proper procedure for my weight loss that can easily provide a sumptuous reduction in bodyweight. I pray that all my endeavours do not pass away an organic demise.

Regarding your claim that just a couple pills in order to pop and I can decline kilos quickly, if only it were that easy. But I will certainly continue to try to induce off of the volume from the bulging belly.

Lastly, Anonymous, whether my bags appear to move is none of your business.

I have taken my life in my hands

...and, after reading Jinksy’s friend Hilary’s post containing some simple instructions, have -- with fear and trembling -- turned off Word Verification on this blog.

I think the Blogger people probably mean well. They are only trying to separate the real human beings from the automatic spammers, but their efforts are having the unintended opposite effect, that of removing real human beings from the process altogether. If something is too difficult, or really isn’t but is perceived to be, or even if it is just a little bit inconvenient, many people simply quit trying.

I say this to our shame.

***Observes a moment of silence here for what strange creatures we humans are***

But since what I’m after is comments, more and more comments from more and more people, I have taken the plunge.

I am now in free-fall mode.

Please be gentle.

Pick one and give reasons for your choice

Today in the United States is Presidents Day or President’s Day or Presidents’ Day.

Follow the instructions in the title of this post.

For extra credit, and without looking, name all 44 presidents in order and their terms of office. An example not only would be but is, or was, George Washington (1789 - 1797). Before you complain, remember that I could have asked you to name all 50 states and the year each one entered the union and to tell why you think Puerto Rico should or should not become the 51st state.

Readers who are not Americans (you know you you are), please name as many U.S. presidents as you can, from memory, and report the number in the comments. A helpful hint: Benjamin Franklin, Henry Ford, Michael Jackson, and Whitney Houston were never president. Also, write a paragraph explaining why your country should have a Prime Ministers (or Prime Minister’s or Prime Ministers’) Day if it doesn’t, and why it shouldn’t if it does.

Your next reading assignment, class, is here.

Scott who?

This is not Santa Claus in his younger days.

It is not Peter Ustinov or Burl Ives or any other youngster aspiring to success in show biz.

This is Scott Fahlman.

Scott Fahlman.

Scott Fahlman is the person who may or may not have been the first to suggest the use of :-) as a smiley-face emoticon and :-( as a frowny-face emoticon in September 1982, as careful readers of this blog learned from a link in a comment left by Katherine on an earlier post.

When I was a lad, we didn’t have emoticons.

When I was a lad, we had slinkies and 45-rpm records and Brownie Hawkeye cameras.

When I was a lad, well, see for yourself (2:42).

One thing is sure, if one becomes the ruler of the Queen’s navy, one can not also be the very model of a modern major-general (5:00).

There is method in my madness: My purpose in including the links to Gilbert and Sullivan in today’s post was to change any and all artificial emoticons among the members of today’s audience into real smiles.

Now aren’t you glad you dropped by?

And I made you forget all about Scott Fahlman.