Saturday, December 26, 2009

You win some, you lose some

The course of true love never did run smooth.*

CLICK HERE for a timely example of what I’m talking about.

If you couldn't understand what the singers were saying, here are the lyrics. The author is a man named Frederick Silver:

The first day after Christmas my true love and I had a fight
And so I chopped the pear tree down and burned it just for spite.
Then with a single cartridge, I shot that blasted partridge
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

The second day after Christmas, I pulled on the old rubber gloves
And very gently wrung the necks of both the turtle doves
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

The third day after Christmas, my mother caught the croup;
I had to use the three French hens to make some chicken soup.

The four calling birds were a big mistake, for their language was obscene;
The five gold rings were completely fake and they turned my fingers green.

The sixth day after Christmas, the six laying geese wouldn't lay;
I gave the whole darn gaggle to the A.S.P.C.A.

On the seventh day what a mess I found,
All seven of the swimming swans had drowned
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

The eighth day after Christmas, before they could suspect,
I bundled up the
Eight maids a milking,
Nine pipers piping,
Ten ladies dancing,
Eleven lords a leaping,
Twelve drummers drumming
(Well, actually, I kept one of the drummers)
and sent them back collect.

I wrote my true love, “We are through, love,”
and I said in so many words,
“Furthermore your Christmas gifts were for the birds!”

* A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act 1, scene 1
** American Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals


  1. Those singers have a point! I don't know where I would possibly put, place, store, or otherwise stash 364 gifts from "my true love." He wouldn't be my true love very much longer, I fear, burdening me with all those mouths to feed. The only things that need no further attention, except admiration, are the golden rings... all 40 of them, if I count correctly. (Of course, I could be wrong.)

  2. What fun. I looked up the words as I couldn't hear them very clearly.

  3. I couldn't understand the words.