Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Deconstructing George

The following facts about our first president were published today by The Writer’s Almanac:

1. His favorite foods were mashed sweet potatoes with coconut, string beans with mushrooms, cream of peanut soup, salt cod, and pineapples.

2. He lost all of his teeth except for one by cracking Brazilian nuts between his jaws.

3. He got dentures made out of a hippopotamus tusk, designed especially to fit over his one remaining real tooth. But the hippo dentures were constantly rubbing against that real tooth so that he was constantly in pain.

4. He used opium to alleviate the pain.

5. He snored very loudly.

6. He put powder on his own hair, which was naturally a reddish brown, instead of wearing a powdered wig like other fashionable people.

7. He was not good at spelling and he had a speech impediment.

8. His inaugural address was the shortest inaugural address in U.S. history: It was only 133 words long and took him just 90 seconds to deliver.

I have several reactions:

Shame on them.
If you can’t say something good about somebody, don't say anything at all.
I always thought his false teeth were made of wood.
Mitt Romney he wasn’t.

Do you have a reaction that you would care to share?

8 comments:

Pat - Arkansas said...

I find it hard to believe that he actually cracked Brazil Nuts with his teeth. I couldn't get my mouth open that far, much less crack the nut. Does that particular bit of information have the same veracity as the tale told of his chopping down the cherry tree? I, also, thought his false teeth wer carved from wood. I guess it makes sense that they would have been carved from some sort of ivory in an attempt to match the color of a human's teeth.

Happy Birthday, GW.

Pat - Arkansas said...

wer=were

Yorkshire Pudding said...

When you say "our" first president do you mean the first president of IBM? Thomas J Watson.

rhymeswithplague said...

Pat, thank you for your valuable contribution to accuracy in blogging; Brazil Nuts it is and not Brazilian Nuts as The Writer's Almanac put it. Writing that sentence just now made me think of Carmen Miranda.

Y.P,, each of my posts is independent and stands on its own; there is no running theme linking one to another. IBM's first president was indeed Thomas J. Watson; and the USA's first president, George Washington, was born on February 22, 1732, exactly 279 years to the day before I forgot momentarily that some readers of this blog live in other parts of the world.

Putz said...

he and hamilton fought over the creation of a united states bank, and he had a bum leg that almost cost him his life

Carolina said...

Was he a vegetarian? Oh no, he ate fish.
And my sister was born on February 22, but not in 1732.

Snowbrush said...

Carolina, he was a piscatarian, same as I.

rhymeswithplague said...

Putz, bum leg duly noted.

Carolina your sister has had a near brush with greatness.

Snowbrush, suspicions confirmed.