The Gift Outright

O

wow

today

I learned

a new trick

that has nothing

whatever to do with

Christmas but I thought

I would have a little fun

and possibly amuse some of

you at the same time. However,

if you are not amused I cannot do

one earthly thing at all about it with

the possible exception of cheerfully refund-

ing your money and then going back to my room

where I shall weep many buckets of bitter and salty

tears

after

which

I may

kill myself.