Saturday, June 2, 2012

Be a dear, Philip, and bring me my comfy slippers.

I have gleaned from various sources the itinerary for Queen Elizabeth II during her Diamond Jubilee Week:

Saturday, June 2: The Queen will attend the Epsom Derby.

Sunday, June 3: The Queen will lead a Thames River Pageant from her barge. It starts in Chiswick around noon, but the Royal party aren’t joining in until it gets to Chelsea Pier at 3 pm. It will then go to Tower Bridge, finishing about 6 pm. There is also something called The Big Lunch happening all over the country where neighborhoods basically have come together to get their streets closed for a block party.

Monday, June 4: A concert for the Queen and Royal Family will be held at Buckingham Palace at 7:30 pm, and a lighting of Jubilee beacons all over the country will follow starting at 10 pm, culminating in the Queen lighting hers at 10:30 pm.

Tuesday, June 5: The Royal Family will attend a special church service at St. Paul’s Cathedral at 10:30 am. Later in the day there will be a procession of the whole Royal Family starting at Westminster Hall and ending at Buckingham Palace with the standard balcony wave and the traditional Royal Air Force fly-by.

By that time we should all be jolly well ready for the whole bloomin’ fuss to be over.

But if you are wondering exactly what it is that a Queen does, here are sixty fun facts staggeringly awesome accomplishments of her reign.


  1. On behalf of Her Majesty I would like to thank you for advertising her Diamond Jubilee even though you are a mere colonist living in one of our discarded former territories.

  2. I like their phrase 'since William the Conqueror obtained the throne' - it makes it sound as if he simply popped into Wal-Mart.

  3. She keeps up a pretty amazing pace for her age.
    Cheers ( waving Aussie flag )

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  6. I don't know why they don't drop the whole parasitic family in the Thames and be done with them.

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