Thursday, September 20, 2012

To boldly go where no man has gone before

If Earth were Star Trek and the western nations were the United Federation of Planets and the nations where a certain peaceful-sounding but actually quite bellicose religion that shall remain nameless holds sway were the Klingon Empire, then the solution to our current dilemma on the international scene would be simple. Obvious and simple.

All we would need to do is to wait for the sequel, namely Earth: The Next Generation.

“Pshaw!” you may be saying. “Pshaw!”

And I respond, “No, really!”

Think about it.

In Star Trek: The Next Generation, the overly melodramatic James Tiberias Kirk, Captain of the Starship USS Enterprise (William Shatner, in a role he was born to play), has been succeeded by the cool, calm, and quietly cerebral Captain Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart).

In Star Trek: The Next Generation, Worf -- a Klingon -- is a member of the Enterprise crew. The Klingon Empire and the United Federation of Planets have ceased wartime hostilities and become galactic allies, while more sinister foes like the Romulans and the Borg require the former enemies to join forces to fight a common enemy. [Editor’s note. Regrettably -- and here’s the rub -- it took 80 years for this phenomenon to occur. --RWP]

Okay, so Star Trek: The Next Generation may not have Mr. Spock or Dr. McCoy or Lieutenant Uhuru, but it has a blind guy who can see better than his sighted shipmates (Geordi La Forge), an empath (the ship’s half-human, half-Betazoid counselor, Deanna Troi), an android as operations officer (Data), and a really neat bartender who looks like Whoopi Goldberg (Guinan).

It’s simple, really.

All that our world needs to resolve the current crisis are a blind guy who can see, an empath, an android, and a really neat bartender who looks like Whoopi Goldberg.

You read it here first.


Katherine said...

Strangely, I don't think that combination will necessarily help. But then I'm not qualified to talk politics. I still have a stupid belief that being kind and thoughtful is all you need to run a world.

Snowbrush said...

I would agree with Katherine on the first sentence, but as to the second, I think that disagreements over abortion, euthanasia, gay marriage, Sharia law, and so forth require more than kindness. For example, if you think abortion is murder, you can't very well compromise in the interest of harmony, but if you think it's a women's rights issue, you're likewise obliged to hold fast to principal.

Shooting Parrots said...

I think we're nearly there - David Cameron and Data might have been separated at birth as I've previously observed.

Yorkshire Pudding said...

I assume that the "bellicose religion that shall remain nameless" is the Mormon faith - headed by Ayatollah Romney? I hope so because if you were referring to Is**m (shhh!) then all hell will soon break out in the streets of Canton! "WE ARE NOT KLINGONS!" the banners will declare.