Take it away, Stephen Wright!

I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.

I was once walking through the forest alone. A tree fell right in front of me and I didn’t hear it.

Right now I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
I think I’ve forgotten this before.

My neighbor has a circular driveway. He can't get out.

It doesn’t matter what temperature the room is, it’s always room temperature.

I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.

How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

When I die, I’m leaving my body to science fiction.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near the place.

Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

Here’s more. (6:16)

And even more. (4:19)

I’m beginning to understand the concept of too much of a good thing.