Thursday, October 31, 2024

Modifier placement is so important

I just saw a television commercial for a vitamin supplement or rejuvenating product of some sort in which a man said, "I'm 63 and I can still almost hit a golf ball three hundred yards."

He didn't mean to say that he could still almost hit a golf ball, he meant to say that he could still hit a golf ball almost three hundred yards. Do you see the difference?

Even when the modifier was in the right place, comedian Milton Berle could find a joke. He told an audience he was 83 and he and his wife had sex almost every day of the week, adding that they had sec almost on Monday, sex almost on Tuesday, sec almost on Wednesday....

I hope you're not offended; I thought it was funny.

My own personal faux pas involving a misplaced modifier occurred in Macy's department store several years back. I said to the salesperson that I wanted to buy a black man's umbrella, when what I should have said was that I wanted to buy a man's black umbrella.

On another note, my email inbox is full to overflowing constantly of late, most of it unwanted. Yesterday I received 307 new messages, of which 178 were political. I for one can't wait until (and will be so glad when) this election cycle is over.

Whether life will return to what passes for normal is another issue entirely.

Time will tell.

7 comments:

  1. A commercial that has long stuck in my head begins with: As a health worker my car has to be reliable.

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    Replies
    1. Love it! The self-illustrating rule on this type of error is “When dangling, watch your participles.” Good one, Emma!

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  2. Blind guide dogs is one phrase that irritates me!

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    1. Definitely! This is not so much a misplaced modifier problem as what Dr. Bergen Evan’s of Northwestern University called the Germanisation of the English language, which prepositions are not used at all and noun sequenc s are reversed. Guide dogs for the blind would be so much better. In Germanisation, the Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals becomes the Animal Cruelty Prevention Society. And tickets to their annual fund-raising dinner become Animal Cruelty Prevention Society Dinner Tickets. Another good example of language mangling. Thank you, Janice!

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  3. When she was a schoolgirl, my wife's aunt stowed a single glove to her teacher. "Miss," she said. "I found this glove running for the bus." Omitted modifier?

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  4. Not omitted at all, merely misplaced. The sentence would be much better if the participle is moved to the beginning: Running for the bus, I found this glove. It would have made it crystal clear to the teacher that the aunt, not the glove, was doing the running! Thank you, Tasker.

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