Some people's identities change more often than I change socks. I'm serious. My friend Patty B____ is now Patty P____ M____ on Facebook. How can anyone find her? My friend Terri H____ is now Terri R____ C____. My friend Clara L____ has changed the most and is now Clara A____ S____ M____. One woman at our church, Paula M____ J____, has an adult son whose surname starts with T. As hawkers often say at sporting events, you can't tell the players without a program.
My wife was never given a middle name, so she started using her maiden name as her middle name after we were married. Both my mother and my daughter dropped their given middle names (one was E____ and one was R____) when they married and, like my wife, began using their maiden names as their middle names. This used to be common for married women to do.
Nowadays there are no rules. One of our daughters-in-law still uses the old method, dropping her middle name T____ and using her maiden name P____ as her middle name and initial. Our other daughter-in-law has always gone by her middle name and never used her first name at all. On social media she is known by her middle name and her married name only, with no reference to either her first name or her maiden name. Among our granddaughters-in-law (we have five), three use the 'first name'-'maiden name'-'married name' pattern, one uses the 'first name'-'married name' (no middle name) pattern, and one uses the 'first name'-'middle name'-'married name' (no maiden name) pattern.
When I worked in Florida years ago, my colleague Frank L____ and his wife divorced and Mrs.L____ was awarded custody of the children. Then my colleague Pete Z____ and his wife divorced and Mrs. Z____ was awarded custody of the children. A little while later, Frank L____ married the former Mrs. Z____, and Pete Z____ married the former Mrs. L____. All of the children attended the same elementary school and some were even in the same classrooms. So the report cards for the Z____ children were sent to the L____ home, and the report cards for the L____ children were sent to the Z____ home. Parent-teacher conferences must have proven interesting for the faculty and administrators at the school.
If you are completely confused at this point, join the club.
I hope this post has given my American readers something to ponder besides our fallen military heroes on this Memorial Day. I further hope that it hasn't given any of my readers, American or otherwise, a headache.
What a lot of people with ____ in their names. Have you considered becoming Robert H. ____ ?
ReplyDeleteIt was, as I’m sure you know (but I will explain it for others), simply a device I employed to preserve the anonymity of real individuals. I suppose I could have used fictitious names instead, but that would have been (a) cheating and (b) much less satisfying (to me, I mean). It’s good to see you out and about in Blogland. Thank you, Tasker.
DeleteBy the way,
I've never had a middle name. Most people I know use their first given name, though one or two use names that are nothing like their 'official' names.
ReplyDeleteTwo of my grandsons use their middle name instead of their first name. Also, one granddaughter-in-law actually uses a diminutive of her middle name (a nickname, if you will), instead of either her first or middle name. I myself have always used a diminutive nickname instead of my given name. It takes all kinds, I guess. Thank you, Janice!
DeleteI have never before heard of a married woman using her maiden name as a middle name. My married name is what I use on facebook and everywhere else but my maiden name is in brackets, just in case somebody from the long distant past comes looking.
ReplyDeleteI have seen women’ maiden names in brackets in genealogies but never on Facebook. It has been common until the last couple of decades for American women to incorporate their maiden names, Hillary Rodham Clinton for example. Thank you, kylie!
DeleteI thought I knew quite a lot about American culture, given that it's pretty pervasive here but I see I still have some things to learn
ReplyDeleteThe first Australian woman I ever knew, a friend of my stepmother, said ‘skivvies’ and i have always assumed that all Australians did the same. I wiudn’t be at all surprised if I have some things to learn too. Thank you, kylie!
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