Saturday, March 7, 2009

A guest blogger speaks


F.Y.I., P.D.Q., L.S.M.F.T., Billy Ray Barnwell here, C.Q., C.Q., calling C.Q., oh, wait that is what amateur radio operators who are also known as "hams" do, I lost my head for a minute and forgot that this isn't amateur radio, although I suppose some might call me a bit of a "ham" myself even though I do not know one thing about amateur radio, I am here because I have been entrusted with a special assignment by none other than the one and only dear old rhymeswithplague himself, not that he and I speak that often or get along all that well, but he requested that I convey a message to all of you blogger friends of his, well, readers anyway, I don't know whether you consider yourself his friend but he does, anyways, the message is that he and Mrs. Rhymeswithplague were called out of town unexpectedly on Thursday morning because their daughter in northern Alabamistan, who was scheduled to have some minor medical procedure performed in an outpatient clinic on Thursday morning and had told them that they didn't need to come, was being admitted to a hospital because the medical folk discovered from the results of her blood tests that her hemoglobin was 4 when it should have been about 12 or 13 and her hematocrit or hematacrit or whatever it is was 16 when it should have been about 38 or 39, and the medical folk were amazed that she could stand up or walk or even be functioning at all with numbers that low, so their son-in-law, the Rhymeswithplagues's I mean,not the medical folk in northern Alabamistan, called and asked Mr. and Mrs. RWP if they could come over to help with the grandchildren for a few days, so Mr. and Mrs. Rhymeswithplague hustled Jethro over to his favorite doggie dude ranch and left town quicker than you could say "antidisestablishmentarianism," although I don't know whether you even go around saying such words and I can't imagine who you would be saying them to, so now after receiving four pints of blood and iron intravenously and also two vitamin B-12 shots and spending 48 hours in the hospital she has been released. The medical experts have ruled out all the worst possibilities because she is producing platelets so they know it is not a bone marrow problem or anything like leukemia. The doctor feels it is a nutrition issue as she did have gastric bypass surgery five years ago and malabsorption of nutrients and vitamins in such patients is not untypical. The doctor is also recommending that she have a work-up done by an internist in about four weeks even though he feels in his gut, that is the medical term he used, that it is a nutrition issue, I can't remember when I have been this lucid or stuck to one subject for this long but a promise is a promise and I have done what he asked so old rhymeswithplague owes me big this time, I really must bring this epistle to a close, oh, did you know he was one of a set of quadruplets? well he is, their names are remus, romulus, rhymeswithplague, and raedawnchong but they were separated at birth, remus changed his name by adding an "a" in the middle and now spends his days traveling incognito, or so he thinks, around the United States in a camper, romulus bought a DeLorean and achieved time travel into the twenty-third century and sent back word that he had founded the Romulan empire and also along with a Captain James Tiberius Kirk of the U.S.S. starship Enterprise defeated some group called the Klingons, you are familiar with rhymeswithplague, and as for raedawnchong, she just disappeared off the radar completely, well, I must go, but everything I said before the words I really must bring this epistle to a close is the God's honest truth, the rest you may take with a grain of salt, two aspirin, and call me in the morning, and this is Billy Ray Barnwell signing off.

9 comments:

Jeannelle said...

Billy Ray,

It was thoughtful of you to relay this info to us. How good of him and Mrs. RWP to drop everything and rush off to help their daughter and her family. They are all in my prayers.

Putz said...

i had blood sugar once of 950, those low numbrs rally are worrysome...billy rqy, thaks for the info and god bless to ryhmes with;s daugheter and grands and alabamanitiews...lovesputsy

Pat - Arkansas said...

Billy Ray, I think I know just from reading RWP's posts for the last year or so that he and Mrs. RWP are the type of folks who would of course drop everything and go to the aid of a family member in need and it's fortunate I think even under the circumstances that the daughter in law had to have a minor procedure done which laid bare the medical conditions which could have had terrible consequences and I'm glad she got proper care and is on the mend and will seek additional professional medical assistance to avoid such near tragedies in the future and I look forward to having RWP and his lovely wife back home safe and sound and Jethro out of the doggie day care because as nice as it may be there there's no place like home and that's all I have to say about this but thanks for sharing the information.

rhymeswithplague said...

Jeannelle - The comment header will say "rhymeswithplague" because it is his blog but you do understand that this is Billy Ray Barnwell here, and I will thank you on Mr. and Mrs. RWP's behalf for your prayers. Mr. RWP mentioned to me once, I believe, that you are Lutheran, and Lutheran prayers are some of the best.

Putz - Or Putsy as you signed yourself, I don't know whether the blood sugar number has anything to do with the hemoglobin number or the hematocrit or hematacrit or whatever-it-is number but thanks for voicing you concern, by the way my name is Billy Ray, not billy rqy, but you can call me rqy bobby if you like.

Pat - An Arkansas Stamper - You are right, there's no place like home as Dorothy Gayle learned at the end of The Wizard of Oz when she clicked the heels of her ruby slippers together three times and miraculously found herself back with Auntie Em at the farm, and as for the type of folks Mr. and Mrs. RWP are, Mrs. RWP is a gem, one of the best, but perhaps I am a little too close to RWP, we have had our run-ins in the past, still and all he is a pretty good egg when you get right down to it, and may I say to you again as I said to you once before when you commented on my own blog, I admire your writing style immensely.

...and this is Billy Ray Barnwell signing off.

Pat - Arkansas said...

I don't know if you're back home yet, or still away, but thanks for the comment on my Today's Flowers post. The information on and spelling of the tree variety came from this site:

http://davesgarden.com/guides/pf/showimage/17508/

The site you referenced referred mostly to magnolias that grow in the Far and Near East, but you'd think that the Magnolia Society would at least make mention of the variety that I have in my garden.

Jeannelle said...

Billy Ray,

Tell rhymsie and Mrs. RWP that they are all still my thoughts and prayers. I've never heard that Lutheran prayers are some of the best.....a prayer is a prayer is a prayer, isn't it.

Carolina said...

All the best to Mr. and Mrs. Rhymeswithplague's daughter. Thanks for letting us know.

Egghead said...

Oh my Billy Ray I completely missed this post. I don't know how! I hope all is well with the daughter and that she is feeling better now.

rhymeswithplague said...

A belated thank you to Carolina for your comment, and another belated thank you to Egghead (Vonda in Oregon) for your belated comment.

Daughter is on the road to wellness and better health now. As of three days ago, her hemoglobin had risen to 9.5 (out of a desired 12 or 13), If the hemacrit is triple that, it's about 28 (out of a desired 38 or 39).