Friday, May 29, 2009

All this clicking nonsense is getting downright ridiculous.

On the hottest afternoon in Georgia in seven years, the seventy-second floor of the tallest building in Atlanta was hardly abuzz with activity. A pimply-faced boy slowly pushed a squeaky mail cart down a hall. Somewhere a telephone rang. A receptionist put down her cigarette, cleared her throat, and began to talk.

“Lilliput, Brobdingnag, Houyhnhnm, and Yahoo....Miss Gulliver speaking. How may I direct your call?” said the receptionist into the mouthpiece of her silver telephone.

Glrbfq fnjx kqdmsl, wqvx,” said the telephone.

“Certainly, sir. I’ll put you through to Mr. Brobdingnag,” said the receptionist. “Please hold.”

Across the hall, another perfectly coiffed receptionist picked up another ringing telephone and said, “Jersey, Holstein, Ayrshire, and Guernsey. May I be of assistance?”

Kfwscy ljvdn qwerty uiopn?” said the telephone.

“Ms. Guernsey is not in the office today, ma’am. Would you care to speak to Ms. Ayrshire instead?” said the receptionist.

Arthur Pilkington ripped the sheet of paper out of the typewriter, crumpled it into a ball, and threw it in the general direction of the wastebasket. He stood up and went into the kitchen and made himself a Harvey Wallbanger, even though it was only ten o’clock in the morning.

Another morning, another wastebasket already half full. It was going to be a long day.

Well, enough of that. I tossed off that chunk of immortal prose in a matter of minutes (could you tell?) to make the following point:

I’m beginning to hate clicking on links. Everybody and his brother puts links in posts, me included. No self-respecting member of the blogging community could possibly post anything without links in it.

We do it because we can.

Perhaps we’re all going to Hell in a handbasket.

Now go and check out those links.


  1. RWP:
    I shall NOT click on the links and "everybody" does not use them...I never have...never will, because I refuse to learn how.

    Hope you are well. Your prose was lousy today, by the way...I am about to depart for the Nation to the North this weekend...I know you are dying to know what I've been up to.(sure you are)..will try to post on my way out.

  2. Fun prose. Yes, some bloggers are way too "linky." I have enough trouble sneaking in time to read my favorite blogs (yours has been added to my list) and drop an occasional comment.

  3. why is rreamus going north, huh huh huh???

  4. You had a good time with Wikipedia, didn't you? I DID click on (most of) the links. Yes, I did have more important things to do but, so what? I discovered that, if I had some vodka and some orange juice (neither in residence) I could make a Harvey Wallbanger. Some one gave me a very decorative (small) bottle of Galliano some years back. The seal is not yet broken. I am a heavy tippler -- not. :) My posts sometimes contain links, but I try not to overuse them. No links at all in today's post (another very possibly boring glimpse of my daylilies).

  5. Reamus - You're leaving none too soon. You are less surly, I mean much more pleasant, when you are on the road.

    Leenie - Better linky than kinky.

    Putz - Reamus, with one r, is going north because that is where Canada is.

    Pat - You daylilies are never boring, even less so after you've had a Harvey Wallbanger, I imagine.

  6. P.S. to Pat - Your daylilies. I didn't mean to imply that you are a daylily.

  7. Mr. Brague, I really enjoyed that little story you just wrote! I'm guilty of linking. How do you make that drink?

  8. Loren - If you click on my Harvey Wallbanger link, you will find out how to make that drink! Or ask Pat in Arkansas....