HOW BAD IS IT????
(These are not original with me; I am indebted to my friend Carolyn S. for forwarding them to me.)
Things are so bad that:
I received a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
CEOs are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Motel Six has turned the light off.
A picture is now worth only 200 words.
They changed the name of Wall Street to Wal-Mart Street.
When I called the Suicide Hotline, I got a call center in Pakistan.
When I told them I was suicidal, they got excited and asked if I could drive a truck....
Note. In the comments, Shooting Parrots listed two more good ones:
The Suicide Hotline now calls me. Collect.
I get emails from Nigeria saying a long lost relative has left me two goats and a bag of beads.
Groan! Although -- Wal-Mart Street might be correct, but only if written in Chinese. It's difficult to find anything in Wally World that's not made in China. Support your local Mom and Pop Shop!
ReplyDeleteA good dose of LOL!
ReplyDeleteExcellent! I would add that the Suicide Hotline now calls me. Collect.
ReplyDeleteAnd I get emails from Nigeria saying a long lost relative has left me two goats and a bag of beads.
Pat - Arkansas, good suggestion. Also, it's imortant to know how to identify the country of origin in UPC bar codes. This link shows 690 through 695 as People's Republic of China and 489 as Hong Kong (now part of the People's Republic). The U.S. and Canada are 000 through 019 and Taiwan (Nationalist China, our free friends) is 471.
ReplyDeleteJeannelle, we can always use a good dose of that!
Shooting Parrots, good ones! In fact, I will add them to the main post.
imortant = important
ReplyDeleteThe economy's got so bad that Canton, Georgia is going to be given back to the Cherokee Nation. All remaining residents will be required to live in tepees and wear traditional loinclths. They must also adopt Native American- style names. You Mr B shall be "Big Wind" owing to your occasional flatulence.
ReplyDeleteThese are great, and I love the Nigerian email add-on. I choose PotatoHonkus as my Indian name.
ReplyDeleteCan't get rid of the mental image of the big shots playing miniature golf. Funny.
ReplyDeleteY.P., Confucius say, "Man who puts toupee in toaster wants to keep his wig wam." Oh, you said tepee, not toupee. A thousand pardons. Also, I would hate to have to stop wearing my current non-traditional loincloth and wear a traditional one, and the name "Big Wind" has already been awarded in perpetuity to current Great Part-White, Part-Black Father in Washington.
ReplyDeleteThe Atlanta Braves baseball team used to have a mascot who lived in a huge tepee in the left-field stands; his name was Chief Nok-a-homa.
Rosezilla, your Indian name is intriguing, but I dare not explore the subject further.
Carolina, maybe if miniature golf becomes too expensive they can use sticks and oliebollen! (See, I do read your blog!)