Blue skyin’

Call me crazy, but I think it might be fun to write a story in which Sol Invictus, the town’s local banker, and Morris Dancer, the town’s local saloonkeeper, vie for the affections of the lovely Marian Haste, the town’s virginal schoolmarm. Marian fends off the constant advances of her would-be suitors, however, to spend time in the arms of her secret love, Wayne E. Weedy, owner and editor of the local newspaper, The Wayne E. Weedy Weekly. The story takes place in Scotland, and the town (actually a collection of...a collection of...villages) is called Blackbird. Because Blackbird is located along the banks of the River Manny, Marian’s and Wayne’s trysting place is the Firth of Manny.

I had considered a subplot in which Marian’s childhood friend, Bringtua Boyle, local middle-aged spinster and church soloist, bids Blackbird bye-bye to enter a nationwide talent contest, wins second place, and subsequently enjoys an extremely successful singing and recording career, but I abandoned it as too fanciful.

I also want to bring in Kaye Surrah but have not yet determined her role.

Help me think of other characters and locations with which to expand this story.

[Update No. 1. A reader named Elizabeth has suggested the addition of a dentist named I. Pullem. The town definitely needs a dentist. I have decided to make him an expatriate American, the great-grandson of Fitzhugh Lee (photograph below), who himself was the 40th governor of the state of Virginia and the nephew of Confederate General Robert E. Lee. My dentist will double as the local gossip and town gadfly, showing up uninvited at parties and seemingly able to be everywhere at once. I have decided not to call him Dr. I. Pullem, however. Instead, he will be Dr. Hugh Biquitous Lee. --RWP]

[Update No. 2. Another reader, Yorkshire Pudding of Pudding Towers, Sheffield, suggests that our story should include a scene where a heartbroken widow falls to her death from the church tower. Her name? Eileen Dover. --RWP]