Tuesday, October 9, 2018

A public apology, and a look at small-town America [redacted version]

[Editor’s note. In the original version of this post, I revealed too much personal data about one of our readers. After receiving multiple slaps with a wet noodle, some of them self-inflicted, I have decided to do what the Federal Bureau Of Investigation does when asked to provide sensitive material to the Senate Intelligence or Judiciary Committee, and that is to redact the document. The post below is the redacted version of today’s original post. Only persons who have passed a Top Secret Background Investigation (as I have) and who spent the entire month of February 1969 in Stockholm, Sweden on IBM's dime (as I did) and whose location in the military was just off the Staff Balcony in the Underground Command Post at Strategic Air Command Headquarters where all the General officers sat during the Cuban Missile Crisis of October 1962 (as mine was) will be permitted to see the original, unredacted version. —-RWP]

[Redacted], a reader who lives somewhere near the little town of [redacted] in [redacted], was unhappy with the title of my last post, so I want to apologize (British, apologise) publicly to her and anybody else who was offended, because if [redacted] ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. I'm just saying.

I never said any bad words, I just mentioned an acronym, and the offending acronym involved the letters W, and T, and F. [Redacted], another reader who lives in [redacted], also mentioned in his comment that the word SNAFU in the body of the post was no better.

SNAFU can be cleaned up by substituting the word 'fouled'... and WTF could have meant a number of things:

Where's The Fudge?
Who Told Francine?
When Turkeys Fly
While Tempers Flare
Wilbur Teased Fiona

I could go on, but I hope you get my drift (as the iceberg said to the Titanic) that I am truly sorry.

I'm not really feeling sassy today, only semi-sassy, but I'm hoping it will clear up by noon.

The town of [redacted], current estimated population 634, was officially incorporated on [redacted]. [Redacted] says there have long been several versions of how [redacted] was named, none of which can be authenticated.

● [Redacted].

● [Redacted].

● [Redacted].

The rich agricultural and timber resources of the region attracted farmers, millworkers, and loggers. By [redacted], the town had a bank, three dry goods stores, two general stores, three grocery stores, two barber shops, five saloons, four hotels, a newspaper, a blacksmith, and even an opera house.

[Redacted] doesn't actually live in [redacted], she lives on an [redacted]-acre farm in the boonies out from [redacted], but her family is contemplating moving to be nearer their brand-new, first grandchild.

[Redacted] reminds me a lot of Mansfield, Texas, where I grew up, except I don't think Mansfield ever had an opera house. When we moved there in August 1947 the city limit sign said 'Population 774'. It is not like [redacted] any more. Mansfield has grown over the years, and the estimated population of my old home town in 2018 is 69,340. Surely it has more than two traffic lights now.

Here's a picture of the Farr-Best Theater that is still going strong as an events venue in the old one-block-long 'historic' downtown portion of Mansfield:


In the building with the green awning, right next-door to the theater, Mr. Farr, Mary Ann's father, also ran the Farr-Best Cafe where I downed many a hamburger, fried peach pie, and cherry coke in my yute.

Tell me a little about the town of your yute.

13 comments:

  1. How did a nice lady like Pam learn the meaning of such crude expressions? I'm disgusted and will now STFU.

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  2. Gee, thanks for the apology, Bob.....and now the entire WORLD can certainly find me with ease. I believe the soap is still required and most definitely NOT pleasantly flavored, Mr. Sassy Pants.

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  3. Hilltophomesteader, you are right. I don't know what I was thinking. I must not have been thinking at all, or very much. I have decided to be like the folks at the Federal Bureau of Investigation (a.k.a the FBI) and provide only a redacted version of the original post to the public, at least to that portion of the vast reading public that reads my blog. While it is still unfortunately true that the entire WORLD can still certainly find you, it won't be with any help from me. They'll have to do it on their own.

    I am sorry for any pain and anguish I caused you, I truly am.

    Please reread the post in its redacted version and let me know if anything else needs to be removed.

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  4. Mr RWP, the only pain and anguish I am suffering was caused by the 48 half gallon jars of apple cider I canned this morning. If that job could be redacted, this aching in my muscles would be removed! You're one of the good guys in my book, always, Bob!

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    Replies
    1. Hilltophomesteader, I can't redact 48 half gallon jars of apple cider, but I can and did redact what concerned you about the original post. We aim to please.

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  5. Replies
    1. Graham, so are the Senate Intelligence and Judiciary Committees and most of the American public.

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  6. I must say I was surprised by the
    WTF but in a good way. I don't know SNAFU and I couldn't be bothered googling it as I'm still blogging from my phone.
    The town of my yute was Sydney, as it is in my middle age, only with about half the people

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  7. kylie, SNAFU is a World-War-2-era term used by people in the U.S. military and it meant 'Situation Normal, All F****d Up' (less profane people said 'Fouled').

    What happened to your Sydney has happened to my entire country. In my yute, the U.S. population was 160 million and now it exceeds 320 million. Time does march on, after all.

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  8. I am bemused too! Hahahaha. I wish I'd read the original, but that's my own fault. I also didn't know what SNAFU stood for, but now I am happy to have found out.

    'WTF could have meant a number of things:

    Where's The Fudge?' - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
    'Wilbur Teased Fiona' - *more very loud laughter*. Marvellous stuff. I find no issue with your WTF whatever it means including that which it absolutely did mean in the first place, but most of all I'm finding you being called 'Mr Sassy Pants' so funny I may be doing myself an injury. This is compounded by you then editing the post in a manner that can only be called 'with sass in your pants'. Marvellous! *applauds everyone involved* - Starshine

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  9. Starshine Twinkletoes, I'll mark you as 'pleased' then and 'possibly supportive'.

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