Monday, July 20, 2020

Alternate universe imagined

What a different world it might be if these songs had been written instead of the ones that were:

  1. I Left My Heart In Cape Girardeau
  2. Orlando, Orlando, That Toddlin' Town
  3. Big P (Little i, Double t, s, burgh)
  4. A Foggy Day In Antwerp Town
  5. By The Time I Get To Cleveland
  6. Massachusetts, Here I Come (Right Back Where I Started From)
  7. I Was Born In A Trunk In The Princess Theater In Santa Fe, New Mexico
  8. The Last Time I Saw Stockholm
  9. Shuffle Off To Idaho
  10. Meet Me in West Memphis, Louis
  11. As I Walked Out On The Streets Of Toronto
  12. Autumn In Des Moines
  13. Utah, How I Love Ya, How I Love Ya, My Dear Old Utah
  14. Moonlight In St. Paul
  15. Carry Me Back To Old Rhode Island
  16. North Dakota, Where The Wind Comes Sweepin' Down The Plain
  17. Mention My Name In Toledo (It's The Greatest Little Town In The World)
  18. What Could Be More Vapid Than To Be In Cedar Rapids In The Morning?
  19. Pardon Me, Boys, Is This The Pensacola Choo-Choo?
  20. There'll Be Bluebirds Over The Electress Of Hanover
  21. It's A Treat To Beat Your Feet On The Susquehanna Mud
What if the little boy in The Music Man had sung "Kansas City, Kansas" instead of "Gary,Indiana"?

What if Frank Sinatra and Lisa Minnelli had sung "Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today, I want to be a part of it, Fort Worth, Fort Worth"?

What if BLM meant Baltimore Loves Macaroni?

It is mindboggling to think about.

21 comments:

  1. When a nightingale sang in Barclay's Bank.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You do have a good imagination! I feel like my dreams at night take place in an alternate universe. But it must be a different one from yours because I didn't hear those songs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bibbuem I don't hear songs in my dreams, either, but the local always seems to be either a sunny beach town or an urban setting reminiscent of an old Soviet bloc country.

      Delete
  3. I can't add anything to this, I'm incapable of any creative thought right now but I have to say 13 makes me laugh.
    Don't ask me why it just does and I can tell you a laugh is a welcome thing in my day
    Alphie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Alphie Soup, you have made it (my effort) all worthwhile.

      Delete
  4. Well I know that Baltimore Met Area has a sizeable Italian population so one would expect them to love Marconi. I feel that I aught to be ashamed by the number of the songs I don't recognise. I know nothing about Fort Worth but at least I know where New York is!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Graham, did you see that you said Marconi instead of Macaroni? No matter, they are both Italian.

      Our family moved to Texas when I was six, and it was to Fort Worth, the slightly smaller and western half of the the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex, that we went.

      Delete
  5. I keep picturing Ronnie Howard singing Kansas City, Kansas. Everyone would have been soaking wet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Emma, it was Helena, Montana that I considered first, but Kansas City, Kansas is much juicier, Ronnie-Howard-wise!

      Delete
  6. Too funny!
    How about Sharp Top instead of Rocky Top.
    I was trying to think of a substitute for my old Kentucky home but definitely not politically correct these days

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kathy, "Muscle Shoals, Alabam" or "Cocoa Beach, Florida" fit the rhythm better.

      Delete
  7. Oh, I was only twenty four hours from Canton
    Ah, only one day away from your arms
    I hate to do this to you but I love somebody new, what can I do?
    And I can never, never, never go home again.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Like Graham, I don't know the songs....or maybe I do but just have trouble with the new formats!
    I don't know how you think this stuff up

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. kylie, I will divulge the originals in my next post.

      I don't know how I think this stuff up either. Maybe I'm just a product of our rotten culture.

      Delete
  9. I don't know them all either, and some I do would be just as good with the swap over because I don't know the difference between the places! I like number 20 the best, it tickled me. The Barclay's Bank comment is very funny too. I immediatley went abstract in my head with 'Is this the way to Armadillo?' by Tony Christie.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Michelle, I know "Do You Know The Way To San Jose?" but not "Is This The Way To Amarillo?" (I am guessing you meant Amarillo, not Armadillo....)

      Delete

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