In 1786, the Scottish poet Bobby Burns (okay, his name was Robert) famously wrote the following near the end of his poem entitled "To A Louse, On Seeing One On A Lady's Bonnet, At Church":
O wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us.
Twice recently and once about 14 months ago a Power gave me that very giftie, er, gift.
I left a warm congratulatory message in the comments section of someone's blog on the birth of the blogger's first grandchild, and the blogger replied, "You may have a hard exterior but you are soft inside. Thank you, Bob".
Really? I have a hard exterior? I had no idea that I am perceived in that way.
I wonder, though, which is worse, to have a hard exterior and be soft inside or to have a soft exterior and be hard inside?
Another blogger took me to task for saying nothing whatsoever about certain recent events on the American political scene (you can probably guess what they are) and called me "morally reprehensible".
That one stung. He said later that he was "shocked at his tackless (sic) and patronizing response" and apologized, then said he didn't call me morally reprehensible, just a specific behavior on my part. To be accurate, it was not a specific behvior (a supposed sin of commission) he abhorred but a specific absence of behavior (a supposed sin of omission).
Matthew 7:3-4 and Luke 6:41-42 from the New Testament came to mind but I held my tongue, something I'm apparently very good at. You can look those verses up for yourself if you've a mind to.
Also I thought of an old saying, "Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."
The glimpse 14 months ago occurred when someone in my immediate family, while speaking to about 300 people, with me sitting in the audience, referred to me as "one of the nicest controlling perfectionists you'd ever want to meet."
That one has been stinging for, um, let's see, 14 months now.
I'm just grateful that Mrs. RWP didn't jump up and dispute the "one of the nicest" part.
Thank God for small favors.
That's what Mama used to say.
P.S. - I have not rejected these observations (I do not call them criticisms) out of hand but have tried to use them in an instructive way to improve myself, to soften my hard exterior, or harden my soft exterior, to be not so controlling, to abandon any goal of requiring perfection of myself or others.
Because you're never too old to learn.
This post did not appear to me to address your comment in your last but one post: "I will reply to both Graham and Snowbrush in my next post."
ReplyDeleteIf I may be a nitpicker in the words:
O wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us.
You said "Twice recently and once about 14 months a Power gave me that very giftie, er, gift.". In fact the translation is "...the gift to give us..." so "giftie" is actually "give to". I must have far too much time on my hands (which I haven't).
Graham, I do hope to get to the reply I promised soon. Nothing earth shattering, just a little longer than an average reply to a comment. Other posts in my noggin got in the way. I do repent in sackcloth and ashes for the delay. You will see it eventually.
DeleteMay I offer you my opinion of you. Of course we have not met so I can only use my observations from what you write. I see you as a nice man who loves his family. You are learned and maybe a bit of an intellectual snob. (I am too.) You are a person I would enjoy sitting at the kitchen table having tea or sitting in the backyard with an ice cold beer while expounding on events of the day.
ReplyDeleteEmma, it all sounds good to me except the part about the ice cold beer (I never touch the stuff. Beer looks and smells as though it has been through a horse already) and the snob, of course. But hey, if you calls 'em like you sees 'em, who am I to argue? LOL
DeleteI didn't see any tough exterior. There is an uncompromising integrity.
ReplyDeletePerfectionist I would believe.
A friend of mine once called me blunt as a housebrick. 20 years on and it still bewilders me
kylie, I guess I have to 'fess up to a perfectionistic bent if that is a synonym for liking accuracy.
DeleteEven a housebrick has sharp edges.
For some reason I thought about you at some time late yesterday probably because I was still trying to work out whether I would have regarded "one of the nicest controlling perfectionists you'd ever want to meet." as a compliment. You have always struck me as being perfectly gentlemanly in your dealings with other bloggers and I, for one, appreciate that. Yes, I think of you as a perfectionist particularly when it comes to grammar but then I regard that as a Good Thing.
ReplyDeleteGraham, I know. It's a two-edged sword. "One of the nicest" sets one up and then "controlling perfectionists" knocks one down.
DeleteI will settle for gentlemanly. Although it puts me in mind of hearing Dr. Bergen Evans of the University of Chicago say to the college staff at the start of another semester, "Lock up your bicycles, lads, the gentlemen are returning" (meaning "the bicycle thieves").
Good grammar is always a good thing. There ain't nothin' better.