Saturday, August 1, 2020

He ain't heavy, Father, he's my chicken

(Editor's note: The following meme is not original with me. It appeared for the umpteenth time today on Facebook so I decided to capture it and make it available to you. Why should I be the only one to suffer? It is supposed to make you laugh, or at least smile, or nod your head knowingly. This will be easier to do if you live in the United States. If you do not live in the United States, I can only hope that you recognize some of the individuals and then laugh, or at least smile, or nod your head knowingly. --RWP)

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by many sources, good sources -- they're very good sources -- that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.

JOE BIDEN: Why did the chicken do the...thing in the...you know the rest.

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ: Chickens should not be forced to lay eggs! This is because of corporate greed! Eggs should be able to lay themselves.

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road?

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price droped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ENEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

KING DAVID: O Lord, why dost the chicken cross the road And why art the chicken hawks beset around it? Surely in vain the road is crossed in the sight of any predator.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2020, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2020. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

12 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Emma, groaning should be reserved for puns, such as a bun is the lowest form of wheat (wordplay based on a pun is the lowest form of wit). Glad you enjoyed it.

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  2. Ha! This is funny, especially the last one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bonnie, in my neck of the woods Colonel Sanders is not as popular as Zaxby's or Chick-fil-A. Time marches on.

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  3. Excellent.
    Ocasio-Cortex. "What's a chicken?"

    ReplyDelete
  4. YORKSHIRE PUDDING The chicken crossed the road with yellow paint because she was the leader of a road gang tasked with resurfacing that particular section of the highway and she wanted no mistakes this time round.
    BOB BRAGUE I have no idea. Sorry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Neil, the chicken crossed the road alone. There was no yellow paint involved.

      BOB BRAGUE, whoever he is, has no imagination.

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  5. Hahahahahahaha. I particularly liked

    DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

    DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

    ENEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

    BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

    AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

    COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

    Fantatstic post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Michelle, glad you liked it! As I said at the beginning, it is not original with me.

      Delete

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